Review of Watchmen (2009) by Cooterpatooter — 22 Mar 2012

Abysmally paced, ridiculous crybaby dialogue-filled, on-the-nose sexually exploitative, nearly action-free, cantankerous, dark (not in a noir-ish way but in a literal "it's difficult to tell what I'm looking at sometimes" sort of way), leaden, flabby, incredibly overlong train wreck of a bullsh** movie.

I've NEVER walked out of a theater before a film ended until Zack Snyder decided to make me look at Dr. Manhattan's penis for one agonizing moment after another for absolutely no reason. The four of us, exasperated, worn out.

.. utterly soul-crushed by what we had already been subjected to leading up to this moment, finally gave up and left... LONG AFTER EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THE THEATER HAD ALREADY DONE SO! There's a line between just making a crappy movie and actually showing bald-faced contempt for your viewing audience.

I'd say Snyder is definitely toeing that line, if not stepping over it here. All I know is that I'm still waiting for him to personally refund my $20.