Review of War (2007) by Johnmccartney — 16 Feb 2011

I feel somewhat in the minority when I say that this is BY FAR the worst of the new trilogy, but it just plain is. Anakin's turn to the darkside is what makes it the worst. His turn was handled with all the delicacy of a monster truck rally.

I will split this review up into parts. 1) Anakin turns to the darkside in about the time it takes you to scratch your ass. Nevermind all of the horrible oddly specific speeches given to him by Palpatine throughout the movie.

The scene where Anakin stumbles upon Sideous and Mace dueling and decides to side with Sideous is so awfully done. Basically Anakin is forced to rashly decide where his allegiance lies, with the people who have trained him and raised him since the age of 9, or with some creepy looking old dude who basically does the equivalent of luring a little kid into their van with the false promise of giving them candy.

There is really no drama, intense thought or reasoning, or even any visible struggle in Anakin's decision. Then after its all over its like "well I guess I'll just do whatever you ask now". Really? Thats how he turns? He acts like a little **** the whole movie because his elder's don't think he is mature enough.

More like teen angst than "turning to the darkside". 2) The dialogue is SO poor and pathetic that even Republicans were like "well we probably shouldn't exploit that one". I'm pretty sure a 7 year old with down syndrome could write better dialogue.

Each line delivered with the stiffness of morning wood. I can only imagine the actors doing a table read of the script "Uh George.... should we REALLY say that? Like really?" 3) The characters are so flat and boring.

Grevious? C'mon just call him generic bad guy with sinister voice. All of the Jedi Knights are clearly retarded for not seeing anything wrong with Anakin or Palpatine. Are they not supposed to be the most mindful creatures in the galaxy? Can they not move **** with their minds? Apparently they can't see anything thats happening right in front of them.

Padme is pretty much rendered to random sobbing and crying. 4) The end where Vader screams NOOOOOOOO... self explanatory. Theres a whole bunch more, but this is clearly the worst of the new three. At least Phantom Menace had Liam Neeson, and Clones had a cool battle/war sequence.

But pretty much every aspect of this movie is garbage I can't imagine anyone, from the director, to the actors, all the way down to the guy who sets up the sandwich spreads in between takes, had their heart in it at all.