Review of Vital (2004) by 'Becca L — 23 Sep 2005

[font=Arial][color=#000000](This review was written just after screening VITAL at this year's Asian Film Festival in NYC, May 2005).[/color][/font].

[font=Arial][color=#000000]Wow. That's nearly 2 hours of my life that I'll never get back.[/color][/font].

[color=#000000][font=Arial]Let me tell you, this has to be the most useless movie I have seen all year (and it's a contender for the top 10 of all time, in my book at least). This movie was completely unlike the reviews that they marketed it under. Funny thing is, most of the audience agreed. Upon leaving, all of us shuffling out in a dead silence since we were lulled into such a stupor by this crap-tacular movie, one guy had the cohones to say "I thought it was great!" Whereupon everyone stopped plodding along and just stared at this nutcase. His girlfriend turned bright red and tried to hide behind him. Actually, he gave a sarcastic roll of the eyes, so he was off the hook after that. [/font][/color].

[font=Arial][color=#000000]Just to make this quick and concise, I will list my grievances below, and if you know anyone else that has seen this movie, find out what they thought. Between me and one other person, and the reaction of the entire audience Saturday night, I am sure we speak for about 98% of the people.[/color][/font].

[list=1][*][font=Arial][color=#000000]The script was not developed well [i]at all[/i]. The storyline went nowhere, and it [i]most definitely[/i] did not go "nowhere fast." I can sit and watch 3 hour movies, but this 84 minutes stretched on for an eternity. I had such illusions (or is it delusions) that this movie would combine hard science (anatomy) with spirituality and emotion, and that the juxtaposition of the three would be an interesting combination. Not so. There were absolutely no theories at work here, and nothing at all is explained or described. Or even hinted at (so there is no room for inference either). Flat.[/color][/font][*][font=Arial][color=#000000]The characters were awful. The main character had less verbiage (more like garbiage) than Stallone - pick one - any of his 80's action movies. Main character (Asano) showed basically no emotion during any of the movie (with the one exception of the lone tear shining down his face while he stares off into the distance in one scene, but this was so poorly done, and I was so numb by this point I barely noticed) so, in essence, I really didn't care for him at all. As a matter of fact, I don't like him. He treated his "current" girlfriend like crap. As for her, she found out that he was dissecting his former love, and gets [i]mad[/i] at him. WTF? Is she still a threat? Her parents are almost believable, because they are mad for about [i]a minute[/i], but that anger dissipates and more mind-numbing rabble is introduced. Let's see, who else sucked in this film? Oh yeah. Everyone! And isn't Tadanobu Asano a hot Japanese actor right now? I have to wonder, with all the other films I see to his credit, (and owning the movie Ichi the Killer), what happened? Did he forget to act?[/color][/font][*][font=Arial][color=#000000]The cinematography. I don't think I am [i]actually[/i] a qualified critic since I have never filmed anything in my life, however...I did get the feeling that they tried way too hard to be "artsy." This detracts from the movie big time (as if it didn't have enough [i]not[/i] going for it). Herky Jerky is the term I believe. Think Blair Witch. Too much bouncing around to really [i]see [/i]what they want us to see. I mean, I'm a student pilot, and I was actually wishing I had brought some Dramamine with me. Also, there were some scenes that tried to do the Hitchcockian "focus at the stationary object [i]behind[/i] the subject" however this was done A) at the wrong objects, B) for too long a period of time, and C) just wrong in general. I can find meaning in nearly everything, but there was just nothing relevant to anything in my universe in this movie.[/color][/font][*][color=#000000][font=Arial]The extended periods of silence (which usually accompanied either focusing on irrelevant crap in the distance or Asano's face and oh-so-sexy-hair). Normally a nice period of silence gives me time to think and digest what I've seen so far, and prepare myself for what lies ahead. There was just nothing at all to think about in this movie! So the silent/artsy scenes just drove most of us to the brink of madness (or at least had us casually checking our watches on a pretty steady basis). Most of the time, I sat there thinking about what I was going to do at the end of the film. When something moves this slow, dead air and still shots do not help it retain viewer interest.[/font][/color][*][font=Arial][color=#000000]I guess I should add something positive, right? The first few minutes of the movie opened interestingly. I really think it's a fascinating idea, to see how someone would react to dissecting a loved one. So I was hooked in the first few minutes.[/color][/font][/list][font=Arial][color=#000000]...unfortunately, it just didn't deliver what it should have.[/color][/font].

[font=Arial][color=#000000]Some random side notes. Is Asano's chest really that hairy? I thought that treasure trail was glued on. I'm willing to take bets on this. Also, AFA gave us ballots to fill out upon arrival (as I am sure you are well aware of, it seems they would have to do this at every show to get a good cross section). Ballot states: Rate the film....I think it was Excellent, Good, Fair, and What Were You Thinking? I gave it a harsh "What Were You Thinking?" While I can see the actual idea of the story is redeemable, it just didn't redeem enough. This was just hideous.[/color][/font].

[font=Arial][color=#000000]The sad sorry thing is, I am familiar with the director Shinya Tsukamoto, and the movie directly following this one on Saturday night was also directed by him (A Snake of June). I decided not to stick around. No one stuck around. Actually, no one waited for the credits to even begin after Vital, much less end, much less get back in line. That is not a good sign. I would like to see Marebito, and had actually eschewed the screening since he was one of the main actors. However, I will probably set my jaw and steel my resolve and see that one anyway.[/color][/font].

[font=Arial][color=#000000]/review.[/color][/font].

[font=Arial][color=#000000]/rant.[/color][/font].

[font=Arial][color=#000000]/both of the above.[/color][/font].