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Last updated: 08 Jul 2026 at 02:50 UTC

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Review of by Jenna I — 29 Jun 2017

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Boy howdy I ain't seen a movie this borderline pedo-friendly since Léon: The Professional! (Or I guess Charlotte For Ever though I'd argue the tone of that movie is less leering and more trying-to-be-in-your-face disgusting.).

ANYHOW, this absolutely didn't do it for me. Which is a bummer because it sure sounded promising and had some great looking moments but at the end of the day didn't deliver on surreal as much as it just felt poorly edited and barely coherent.

Not gonna lie, Valerie (Joanna Newsom) was storybook-perfect cute though, even though it kinda weirded me out to see a 14 year old in makeup... not to mention the like 8 shots down the front of her dress. Or that priest (Michael Sheen) who tries to rape her. Or her father/Satan (Jack McBrayer) who tries to rape her. Or her brother (Ben Whishaw). Or her grandmother (every piece of cameo jewelry).

I guess this is a horror movie about how when you get your period you're now fair game for rape. Or perhaps it's about how you should just be a lesbian because it heals wounds. Lots to consider. Or forget, because it's forgettable.

This review of Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (1970) was written by on 29 Jun 2017.

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders has generally received positive reviews.

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