Review of Unfinished Business (2015) by Shawn C — 19 Mar 2015

Unfinished Business (2015): Vaughn's Comedic Mediocrity Streak Persists.

This was supposed to be a critique for Kingsmen: The Secret Service. I'm sorry isn't that. Unfortunately, the website was incorrect about the time of the next showing for the movie based on Mark Millar's comic series of the same name. My friends I went with were cool with seeing Unfinished Business and I didn't want to be a spoilsport. Hopefully, I can watch that next soon-ish.

Unfinished Business had a brief Super Bowl TV spot in February.Don't remember it in the slightest? Me either. Talk about money well...Spent? Er, wasted I mean.

Directed by Ken Scott (Delivery Man) and written by Steve Conrad (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty), Unfinished Business is the newest motion picture advertised as a comedy starring actor Vince Vaughn. When it comes to Vaughn being a comedian his performances tend to make me chuckle roughly 35% of the time. Those are not good odds.

Plot-wise, Unfinished Business isn't interesting at all. Retreading a tale Vaughn already did better in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004), Unfinished Business is about an industrious good-natured St. Louis small-time business owner/husband that quit his job at larger company which sells swarf hoping to close a major life-altering deal. Through voiceover narration, Dan begins to define what the heck swarf is then quips that it is "fucking boring". Vince, c'mon, you were secretly talking about your own feelings towards Unfinished Business, right? Later on, he does divulge what it is, for those that still care. I know I didn't. Conrad, you wrote the screenplay for the The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, why does Unfinished Business seem, well, shoddily unfinished?

Even though it claims to be a comedy, a lot of the penned humor left me enraged or disgusted, especially the more sexual based attempts meant to incite potential laughter from viewers. At least now I've seen actual "glory holes" with penises in them inside a gay German nightclub and have learned of the existence of the "wheelbarrow pose" as well, yippee. Not only is it verbally explained, the audience is shown two instances of another character trying it out on-screen: yeah, it is as painfully unfunny as it sounds. Our protagonist, Daniel "Dan" Trunkman and his associates Timothy McWinters (Tom Wilkinson) and Mike Pancake (Dave Franco) at one point in the movie are allowed to enter a unisex spa place to meet someone. Of course, the camera focuses on the nude females within more than the males. In case you somehow didn't understand Mike remarks about the noticable "boobies" and "buttcracks".

On top of that, all of the women in Unfinished Business, minus Dan's nameless wife portrayed by June Diane Raphael, are essentially instantaneous sexual plaything. For example, the sole female executive/Dan's former boss (Sienna Miller) in the motion picture is named Chuck. How does she prove she's worthy of hanging with the boys exactly? By telling one of their group that one of them did something to her the night before. Wha?! In another instance, Mike, compliments a female "that she's beautiful like a painting" or whatever. Afterword, the following sequence is the one of two tries at the aforementioned "wheelbarrow pose", ugh.

As you groan at yet another joke missing the mark (Mike's last name of Pancake is hilarious, yeah?), you wonder why the heartwarming message of self-acceptance concerning the protagonist's son manages to work. To an extent. It is the sole saving grace of Unfinished Business.

Dan's son Paul is being bullied at school and online because of his weight. His supportive wife thinks sending Paul to a private school will assist him. I don't see how, honestly. The significance of this deal Dan is seeking strengthens. Although blatantly maudlin, the teal eye shadow conversation will pluck the stoniness of heartstrings I believe. I wish the central narrative for the film had focused more on that versus being a business trip that goes awry repeatedly as the main character and his two associates seek the all-important handshake on a worthwhile deal he's been working on for the past year.

In conclusion, the title sums up the motion picture very accurately, specifically, the "unfinished" part. With less gay panic humor, less objectification of women, more intelligence in the script/execution, and more time spent with the theme of self-acceptance, Unfinished Business could of made those profit margins it was aiming for. Alas Ken Scott's second collaboration with Vince Vaughn is pure swarf. That's the term for the small particles of metal created in the manufacturing of something colossal, such as the Golden Gate Bridge. Similar to swarf, Unfinished Business is insignificant and not worthy of remembering, ever.