Review of Uncut Gems (2019) by Skip65 — 08 Jan 2020

From the beginning we see a self-destructive guy who in all probability will come to a bad end. He’s got so many plates spinning (jewelry store, 3 kids, mistress, wife, black opal, bookie, prostate, pawned rings, creditors, auction, relatives), and we’re shown over and over that he’s completely incompetent in every area of his life and unlikely to keep any of them afloat.

It’s just a question of which plate is going to fall first. We’re left to wonder how this person lacking common sense ever came to own a jewelry store in Manhattan’s prestigious diamond district or what his wife and mistress ever saw in him in the first place.

This is a guy who’s willing to make huge risks to get rich quick, so I never believed for a second he would ever take the 5 months necessary to meticulously research the mining industry in Somalia and figure out how to successfully acquire that black opal.

And if he is that kind of careful investor he wouldn’t just impulsively loan it out 10 minutes after it arrives! I also didn’t believe this manic reckless adrenaline junkie would ever have the presence of mind to schedule a prostate exam.

His death was a forgone conclusion; the only question was how. If the Safdies wanted to really surprise us they should have given us a happy ending where all those plates remain safe due to sheer luck mixed with some previously unseen genius on Howard’s part.

As for the relentless intensity, it was mostly without variation and thus felt monotonous, redundant and just noisy. Having said that, there's enough here (mostly Sandler's performance) that warrants 2.

5 stars. I know there’s a barrage of critics who loved it; to each his own.