Review of Troy (2004) by Alison C — 14 Sep 2012

Okay. I have many strong opinions about this movie. Its not a great movie. But I really enjoy it. The acting is bad by almost everyone. What on Earth is Peter O'Toole doing in this? He's one of the few who has a great performance but he's too great of an actor to have any business in a hot mess like this. Its no wonder he walked out of the premiere! Brian Cox is the best. You can tell he finds his character delicious and is having a blast being such an openly moody character. He's prideful, whiny, and hot-headed. I love how quickly his moods change and often in the duration of a single shot. Moving on. I LOVE Brendan Gleeson. However, he neither helps nor hurts the acting overall in this movie. Which by his usual standard, is disappointing. I wish he could have hidden his accent better. He's not very spectacular in this. ah well. I still love him. The only reason Orlando Bloom is in this movie is because his character uses a bow and arrow. And at that time, he was the poster boy for archery because of his role as Legolas in Lord of the Rings. He is just terrible. He can't emote. Even after Achilles kills his brother and drags his body away behind his chariot, he just stares blankly out after his dead brother with no hint of feeling. Its infuriating...that he's not infuriated. Eric Bana is boring. But Hector is a boring character. He's your typical hero. zzzzzzzzz. The women in this movie are just there to be pretty. they all stink. Hector's wife is the worst though. I can't believe I used to think the scenes between Brad and Rose were hot. Really, past me? Really? So this movie may just have the hottest character Brad's ever been. Maybe. Thelma and Louise is right up there too. And though he's insanely hot to look at, its about all he's good for in this movie. Its better if he doesn't say anything because he's not believable with his dialogue. He just needs to fight and look good. Though he's not amazing, it always gives me warm fuzzies to see Sean Bean in anything. And ironically, he's one of the few people who doesn't die.

Okay. Moving on. I appreciate that this movie tried to ground the story in reality in that it portrayed the events in away that may have feasibly happened as opposed to the mythical craziness of gods intervening. I don't particularly care for action movies. Usually I find the action to be boring. But this movie makes action very entertaining. The fight between Achilles and Hector is great. I prefer the score for the theatrical cut as opposed to Danny Elfman's Planet of the Apes theme that was used in the director's cut. Now, I do really like the apes song. Its really cool. But it overwhelms the action and is distracting. the original score is a bit more minimal and compliments the scene well. It also adds tension.

Also, I hate how rubbery and flexible the "armor" is.

Okay. There. I have given my two cents about Troy. Its not a great movie technically but its very entertaining. So in that sense, maybe it is great?

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