Review of Troll 2 (1990) by Emily D — 18 Nov 2012

In order to properly explain Troll 2, I summarized it in 2 lists.

List 1: The no.

1) The writer/director/producers, an Italian and his wife, do not speak English.

2) First time actors signed up to be extras and got the lead roles.

3) There was no Troll 1.

4) There are no actual trolls in this movie. Instead, there are vegetarian goblins who turn people into vegetables and then eat them.

5) Why yes, it is actually the worst movie ever made.

List 2: The yes.

1) "Think about the cholesterol! Think about the toxins!".

2) "You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!".

3) "No more popcorn!".

4) "OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD".

5) "Do you want some, Joshua?".

6) The opening theme song. Greatest moment in American cinema.

I'm pretty sure this was the original occurrence of Internet trolling. WATCH IT!