Review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) by Maineutral R — 21 Jun 2014

Wow, this is painful. Wayyy too painful. This movie just got everything lost, everything. This is easily one of the worst sequels of all time. It got bigger, but also lost, and big time too. What's wrong with this movie? What's right with this movie is a more proper question. Revenge of the Fallen can have all the action, explosions and special effects it wants, but certainly has indifference to have good scriptwriting, good characters, good acting, fast pacing, and all those details that makes a movie worthy of our time and money. Seriously, they can spend nights without sleeping by creating the robots piece-by-piece, but they can even spend one night pulling the script? That's bullshit.

Revenge of the Fallen is obnoxiously overlong, with a story that is thin but gets way too convoluted and confusing, with so many details that don't make sense and it's inconsistent as fuck, with hundreds of plot holes and conveniences. This could have been the worst detail of this movie: the overall writing, but we're still about to get there. The other details however are also big problems to not overlook. The human characters try to have depth, but their charming and innocence is gone, so it doesn't work. The villain is nothing special: they keep saying how powerful he is, but he barely does anything in the movie, and when he gets a fight with Optimus at the very last minutes of the movie, he gets his robotic ass handed to himself, being very easily destroyed, and pretty quick for such "powerful" thing. He barely does any villainy, most of the job is done by Megatron, shouldn't he be the leader? The editing at the action scenes can be confusing at times, and half of the time we don't know who's fighting who and who is doing anything.

There's also this giant robot composed by I don't know how many Decepticons that looks cool and powerful, but it's on screen for like 2 minutes and a half and seems to be pretty easy to destroy too. I guess this movie has a talent for having the weakest "most powerful" dudes ever. The movie has a very inconsistent pacing, the first third is pretty much well-paced, but the second third is where the story and characters get lost, with explaining the plot too much and adding many plot holes, and we also have almost no action during this third, this is after Optimus is killed (yeah, he dies and gets revived at the very last 5 minutes before the credits, no kidding) and it feels to go on forever. The last third last like an hour and is nothing but fighting. Absolutely nothing but fucking shit getting blowed-up, Transformers fighting, many guns shooting, too much slow-mo, too much noise and, well, this is point where the movie just gets too convoluted and too overloaded with destruction, that's it, and after that overlong fighting scene is done, the movie ends almost immediately after, literally, the bad guy is destroyed and the movie end like a minute later. Maybe that's why they made the final hour pure action, they didn't have any story left. No doubt about it.

But by far, the worst detail is the racist stereotypes that also get heavily tiring and offensive. The only stereotype they didn't exploit was the black man that speaks like if he was rapping all the time. They seriously decided to use every single stereotype except for the most famous one? I don't know if feel good for that or disappointed that they can't even get their own incompetence right. This movie it's just too tiring, long, over-produced and obnoxious to enjoy at all. Every time I watch it, I only see the action scenes, nothing more; they're the only good things other than the special effects. The rest is awfully done, and I'm surely pissed-off by how this movie turned out to be. It should have been a fun time, but it was simply too much to buy. This is easily one of the worst sequels of all time and one of the worst experiences I've had in movies in my entire life. This movie is so bad, it is even recognized by the director Michael Bay itself and Shia LeBeouf as an awful piece of shit. Good thing they apologized...after getting more than 800 million at the box office already, that is. Guess it's too late to say don't watch this, so...yeah, our lost is their gain. A movie that has too much to offer, that we can't just take it all at once. Something good to say about this movie? It's better than Manos...yeah, that's it.