Review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) by Steven S — 27 Jul 2014

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" (2009).

Before I decided to write a review of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". I came across some goofball who edited the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Wikipedia article and renamed the film at the beginning of the page "Transformers: Sex Tape", no joke. I have a picture on my Facebook to prove it and I swear I did not make this edit.

Anyway, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" or "Transformers: Sex Tape" is the direct sequel to the original Transformers movie in 2007. The sequel was released in 2009 and Michael Bay once again serves as the director and Steven Spielberg comes back as the executive producer. The film takes place two years after the original Transformers. Sam Witwicky (played by Shia LaBeouf) returns as the main character who is once again caught in the war between two factions of alien robots, the Autobots and the Decepticons, which is pretty much the same exact story as the first movie. Sam is starting to have weird visions of Cybertronian symbols, and is being hunted by the Decepticons under the order of an ancient Decepticon named The Fallen who seeks to get revenge on Earth by finding and activating a machine that would provide the Decepticons with an energon source, destroying the sun and all life on Earth in the process. I don't consider this a true sequel since it is too similar to the first movie. But more on that let's discuss the ridiculous parts of the movie.

The movie starts off the same way as the first movie started off, Transformer sound effects at the Dreamworks and Paramount Pictures logos and a narration by Optimus Prime. The robots have even gotten stupider, there are robots acting all gangster and some shit like that, yo! The robots even cry in this movie and even pro-create. Yes, a robot with no DNA or cells is able to reproduce on their Homeworld, that is just fucking stupid and makes no goddamn sense. The movie also has very quick editing and can't stand still for two seconds, there this one scene where Sammy's girlfriend has a tattoo on her shoulder and two seconds later, doesn't have it. Like the first movie, it's trying to be as inappropriate as possible, as long as it retains that PG-13 rating such as dogs fucking each other, foul language including the f-word, over exaggerating the effects of marijuana, an old guy stripping down to his underwear, college teachers having the hots for students, and even attempted rape. Yeah, that's what you want your children exposed to. This movie once again has really over the top action and I need to say it once and for all: the characters escape near certain death way too many times, you would have to be the luckiest person in the universe to survive all the shit that happens in these movies.

The story is also even getting dumber, robots are using a giant rail gun hidden inside the pyramids which is used to destroy the Sun because yeah, that is what's really inside it. Also Megatron links up with all the televisions on the planet via the Empire State Building's antenna to tell everyone on the planet to turn over Sam to him. Yeah, as if the Empire State Building could really do that. They even break into a museum filled with old military war planes and only take out about two security guards. Fucking really? As if this couldn't get even more stupid, one of the characters makes a reference to the dumb movie Stargate by saying that aliens built the pyramids. Okay, this has been done once before and everyone thought it was stupid the first time.

So yeah, the movie has actually gotten dumber since the first movie, but this movie wasn't meant for me. It was meant for a younger generation to enjoy it, grow up and look back at how stupid and over the top it was. It's stupid and ridiculous nonsense, but it's ridiculous nonsense that kids are sure to enjoy and these movies will always become a big hit, no matter how much it hurts. But if you care about constant action scenes filled with CGI overkill more than storylines, then this movie is for you. While the first movie was okay, the second one was actually worse with it's over the top acting, action scenes and ridiculous storyline that makes no sense.

FINAL RATING: 4 out of 10.