Review of Timber Falls (2007) by Dougal S — 22 Apr 2012

If movies have taught us nothing it's that America is a dangerous place. If you head to the big city you'll probably get caught up in a police shoot out. If you spend time in small town America you'll most likely get offed by a serial killer. And if you head out into the wilds or the mountains then you will almost certainly be tortured and abused by some inbred mountain men, especially if you flaunt your big city ways at them by doing things like having a wash.

Timber Falls sits squarely in the latter section and is a cautionary tale of what can happen if you go camping off the beaten track. There's nothing new here, the story revolves around a couple from the city out for a weekend who get lost in the mountains and wind up hostage in a remote shack at the mercy of a demented local couple and their deformed son. The protagonists are pretty dumb even for this sort of fare and the film makers see fit not to bother with any back story at all for either of them so their development is negligible throughout.

The mountain folk are at least better rounded than most with a feasible reason for doing what they are doing but on the whole it's a pretty shallow experience. Now I'm not adverse to a shallow experience where these sort of films are concerned but there really is little to write home about here. The acting is flat, the tension is never really amped up and the gore is little and far between.

To cap it off they add in the most lame ending I think I've ever seen, presumably thought to be a homage to Friday 13th but in actuality it's just stupid and makes the overall feeling of the film even worse.

Best avoided unless you really have nothing better to do.