Review of The Witch (2016) by Saucywalnutz — 22 Feb 2016

This movie made me feel so uncomfortable. Creepiness is off the charts. Not for everyone, but I kept wishing it to end so I wouldn't have to see what happened next. Chilled me to the bone.

Great date movie if you want to scare the crap out of your lady but make sure she's strong beforehand or she might have a heart attack.

Loved it, it's why the term "nightmare fuel" exists. Remember how you saw Million Dollar Baby and you thought "That was a great movie, but I never want to watch that again because it's so depressing."? The Witch is like that except I never want to see it again because it scared the poo out of me.

That said, I think I want to see this again. So much so that I'm writing my first review. It's not for people with no attention spans, kind of like The Exorcist, but this has far better pacing and stabs your psyche even more deeply. I was so creeped out that I almost started to pray for it to be over with, despite being an atheist. Just to be safe, I did the Son/Father/Holy Ghost gesture thing to purify my own damn eyes at the end.

Speaking of the end, it ended, and everyone in the theater just sat in silence, motionless for a while. It took us a while to get back to reality, because it felt like we were in this horror, which was the director's view. Can't wait to see more from him.

So watch it if you don't have ADD, like getting creeped out, and are not afraid of pooping your own pants.