Review of The Wicker Man (2006) by David L — 29 Jun 2011

Avoided this film for a long time but finally sat down to watch it so here we go. A detective (Nicolas Cage) goes to Summer's Isle to look for a girl named Rowan at the request of a former girlfriend named Willow. But he is instead met by an island of women who dominate the men and sacrifice girls at an altar of fire to help their crops grow.

I enjoyed the acting of Ellen Burstyn (who plays Christopher Lee's role as Summerisle), though I was disappointed in the casting choice. I would have preferred an older horror actress, or even better someone from the original film. Burstyn makes a great matriarchal figure, but doesn't really have the credentials for the role she was cast in. (I should also briefly note Nicholas Cage is not a horror actor... and his acting here is splotchy and uneven, to say the least.) Neil LaBute directs, after being best known for "Nurse Betty". I've read the novella "The Shape of Things" by LaBute, as well, and don't see how LaBute got this project. What about these past projects says "you're the guy to remake an English horror classic"? Here's where the spoilers come in: As a film by itself, the movie was weak, but as a remake it was completely worthless. It was as if you took a great novel written on the college level and gutted it for 10-year olds. But did it in such a way that even the kids' intelligence is insulted. I have four primary concerns.

First, the replacement of the pagan religion with the women-dominated society. This sanitized the brilliant dichotomy of Christianity and paganism from the original, getting rid of the most thought provoking aspects. The all female society thing has been overdone (how many times has "Star Trek" done this?).

Along with this, the original made Christianity get called into doubt and made the islanders seem innocent. Here, we are confronted by people who outright murder and burn people... so even though Cage comes across as a jerk, the islanders are clear villains. This completely reverses the greatest dimension of the first film.

Third, the Willow character is completely stupid and extraneous. In the original, we were given a little piece at a time of the Rowan mystery. This made the film very enjoyable for the viewer. But in the remake, this Willow character shows up at random times to explain the plot to Cage (and us), making most of the mystery shallow or completely removed.

And finally, the death of Cage is utterly stupid nonsense. In the original, the detective is a Christian and his faith is tested for a couple days to make sure he is pure for sacrifice. In the new one, there is no purity or any hint of religiousness. All they require is a link to the island. So, my question is this: why did they give him the run-around instead of just knocking him unconscious in the first place? He was not tested, and the lies were pointless... making the entire film utter bull.

Can you tell I didn't care for this film? As a piece of entertainment, it serves a purpose. But it's poorly written, not expertly acted... and a great insult to the viewer and the original film. I wouldn't let anyone watch this, not even to compare to the original... it's just not worth the time. Watch the original instead.