Review of The Three Musketeers (2011) by Jessi H — 09 May 2012

Steampunk meets Three Musketeers? Eh... Didn't buy it. The story comes from great source material, and you hear lines stolen from OTHER books!!! Bloom's character actually says, "the game's a-foot." WHAT???? Besides the fact you're stealing from another author and that the literature is 200 years apart? Um... could you rephrase that?

Perhaps its the fact that the courts of French kings and queens just do not stir my interest. There is so much conspiracy and betrayal and plots within plots and secret rooms... and now there are air ships. Go figure. This movie lacked a focus. Nothing was clear cut, so it was hard to follow. In the beginning, it seems that Orlando Bloom is the villain, but then he disappears for three-fourths of the movie!

I will say that the acting is well done. But Jovovich versus De Mornay? Sorry, the 1993 film has gotcha there. Lerman is a massive step up from ODonnell though! Liked him in Percy Jackson and I liked him here. Too bad I didn't like the rest of the film. The historic characters never win you over in this one. Their personalities are not strong enough, there is not enough of their stories, something! Nothing really pulls you into the story. And with all the modern lines, I just couldn't enjoy it. AND the beaten down "air ship" hiding in a cloud/nebula to get away from the newer, faster, gunned up air ship/starship??? So they rip off lines and plotlines too? Wrath of Khan anyone? Oh screenplay, I spit at thee.