Review of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) by Melvin W — 09 Sep 2011

Pepper: It just seems so wrong. .

Sheriff Hoyt: Don't give me any crap, young lady. Goddamn it, I got just as much respect for a dead body as anybody around here. .

"What you know about fear... doesn't even come close.".

For a remake of a horror classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn't a complete piece of shit. Sure it makes many mistakes along the way. I understand that changes have to be made when remaking a movie, but a lot of what made the original so effective was lost in translation here. First off, the hitchhiker scene in this remake was stupid and I would have stuck with something much simpler like the original. After the initial setup the movie starts to get really silly, especially when we are introduced to the sheriff. .

We get basically the same start from the original here. Five friends, although one of them is not in a wheelchair, are cruising around in a van. Instead of the cool reason why from the original, checking on a grandparents dead body at a graveyard, we get five friends on their way to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. I don't know why this line in the movie pissed me off more than anything, but Jessica Biel's character says, "I hope they play Free Bird." It's fucking Lynyrd Skynyrd, of course their going to play Free Bird, but I digress. They pick up a hitchhiker and that's where the movie completely turns from the original.

Leatherface is bigger, but not as scary; most likely because the scenes aren't done as well and there is a much less talented director at the helm here. I do like that the movie didn't go over the top in the gore department. There was more than the original, but the original had virtually none. Like all remakes, when you love the original, it's going to be slightly disappointing. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy it a little. Jessica Biel isn't a bad choice for the leading lady. I enjoyed watching her run around in a tight tank top. The rest of the cast wasn't too bad either. There's been much worse acting in recent horror films. .

Although this does have some annoying plot points, that's to be expected. It is still a fairly competent and respectable remake. But come on it really had no chance at topping the original in the scare or quality department. It did do an admirable job in trying and it also helped a lot of people revisit or watch for the first time, the original. That's enough in my book.