Review of The Stuff (1985) by Wayne K — 29 Dec 2015

Painfully inane and crushingly dull, The Stuff attempts to be a commentary on our susceptibility to advertising, and how it can make us literally eat up anything we're told to. But what results is just another dime-a-dozen piece of silly sci-fi camp. Edited with all the dexterity of Edward Scissorhands, scenes end completely abruptly, and the film jumps around so much that it quickly becomes hard to follow. It really shouldn't, considering how thin the plot is. The acting is standard B-movie fare, the effects are cheap, the green screen shots are ridiculous to the point of weeping hilarity, and the whole thing just makes no sense. I know a film that features an animate comestible as it's primary antagonist is never going to be considered a masterpiece, but is it too much to ask that it's at least consistent? Why does the substance move quickly in some instances and slowly in others, especially when rapid movement would be to its advantage? I never thought that killer ice cream could have the same lack of urgency as a Bond villain.

I've seen dumb movies that I've enjoyed, even loved, but The Stuff is too dull, too clumsy and too poorly assembled to count as entertainment. If you don't laugh at the awful animatronics or the terrible performances, then it could just be the longest 90 minutes of your life.