Review of The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008) by Sam Wise — 01 Jul 2009

A film that starts with some promise, but quickly dissolves into the usual lame fantasy drivel they keep churning out this century.

A single mother with a secret moves to a secluded house with her three children, the mature daughter, the autistic son (well, that's what I thought), and the little bastard. The sons are played by Freddie Highmore, proving once again that English people do lousy American accents.

There's some creepy, atmospheric stuff as an unknown something rampages about the house and attacks the sister. This is quickly dispelled by seeing the thing, a CGI brownie. In fact, all the CGI monsters really kill any tension. What would be wrong with a bit of puppetry, or keeping things just out of view?

Goblins want a book that Jared (the little bastard) has found. Watch out for the early scene in which the director desperately tries to make writing and reading look exciting. So Jared repeatedly takes the book outside, where the goblins can get it. Every plot progression as the children try to work out what to do and go to different people for help, ends with them gaining nothing at all. It's repetitive and annoying.

When the film finished, I was overwhelmed with anger and disgust with how much I did not enjoy this. It does absolutely nothing new or interesting (except for the scene in which Jared murders his father), and is manipulative and dull. Oh, and the big secret that is the emotional crux of the story? Their dad is having an affair. Is that it?