Review of The Souvenir (2019) by Highstandards — 08 Jun 2019

Nearly all movies by, for and about women are winning undeserved raves these days, and that's too bad for all of us film/theater buffs, since feminism's preachy, self-righteous themes are getting mighty tiresome. This low-budget dirge tracks the pathetic life of a woman (a cinema artiste, naturally) who falls for a drug-addicted cad. It's hard to develop any sympathy for her because there is nothing appealing about the guy whatsoever. He does so many horrible things to her, including smoke cigarettes in her bedroom, but just two minutes of cuddling and all is forgiven. Symbolism here is as subtle as an elbow in the ribs and includes cracked mirrors, haunting paintings and desolate landscapes. Will one of you lady directors/screenwriters/producers give us just one film where the woman whose life is ruined is involved with someone like John Wayne, Robert Mitchum or even John Turturro?

There was just one other person in the theater, a little old lady who said she didn't get it, could I explain. No problem, since the plot points were not rocket science. I told her not to believe any rave reviews she reads on the internet, since they are rigged by millennials who seem to think Shawshank is the Greatest Film Ever Made; that Amy Schumer is funny; that Lena Dunham's cast of fat uglies could get humped in Tijuana on a Saturday night; and that Big Little Lies deserved a second season. If we're going to be made to suffer, ad nauseum, through the stories of strong women, let them be more like Garbo and Bacall rather than hopeless head-trips for whom self-fulfillment is the reason for getting up each morning.