Review of The Shape of Water (2017) by Orville B — 04 Feb 2018

Horrible. It was like taking the 1954 B film classic, "Creature from the Black Lagoon" and trying to make it into a raunchy, vulgar joke of a film. The movie opens with Sally Hawkins nude in a bathtub masturbating.

Then Sally and Octavia get to watch the security guard pee in the bathroom. Then the guard who gets two fingers bitten off by the hokey "creature" sees his kids off to school then we get to watch him hump his wife in bed.

The narrative was classy too, such as "You know corn flakes were invented to reduce masturbation." And, "as long as you have a finger left to put in her vagina." The thing is, none of this narrative or vulgar scenes had ANYTHING to do with the plot.

I'm not a prude and have nothing against a meaningful love scene pertinent to the plot (such as Leonardo and Kate's love scene in the Titanic) but this movie was nothing but inane vulgar trash.