Review of The Shallows (2016) by Writetoreel — 07 Jul 2016

Look at them buns! Wedgied buns. Side buns. Sandy buns. Wet buns. Covered in blood buns. That last one, maybe not so hot.

An actual shark film that wasn’t made by The Asylum. Interesting….

They actually managed to give the sharkLook at them buns! Wedgied buns. Side buns. Sandy buns. Wet buns. Covered in blood buns. That last one, maybe not so hot.

An actual shark film that wasn’t made by The Asylum. Interesting….

They actually managed to give the shark motivation by putting a hook in its mouth. Just by that you get the sense he was attacked by humans, got away but now wants to kill all humans.

It’s no Orca, where the killer whale watches as fishermen capture and gut his pregnant mate. Now that’s motivation.

I really like killer shark movies. The problem being, there really aren’t that many of them out there that are any good. Mostly you have Jaws and the many many terrible ripoff films that came after it. And it pretty much ends there.

Like I mentioned before, The Asylum has mostly corned the market with terrible shark movies. Mostly killing the genre with their Sharknado films. Though some might argue the last two Jaws films did that.

I won’t rant too much about the rating. It was a bit more bloody than I thought it would be, but still very tame. All the kills are off camera, most of the time it just cuts away to show the expression on Blake Lively’s face as she is watching it all happen. You know, would be nice to see some of this too, know you.

So what did I think of the film? It wasn’t bad. It didn’t amaze me or have me on the edge of my seat, there weren’t any scares or too many surprises, and you kind of predict everything that is going to happen. The fact you never see any of the shark’s kills is also a bit disappointing. The CGI shark wasn’t too bad.

Blake Lively was very attractive, but that was about it for her character. Look at my buns!

Final verdict?

It was OK. Best shark movie since Bait, I guess. If you like shark attack movies, sure, go see this one. Just don’t get too upset you don’t actually see the shark attack anyone.