Review of The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) by Devon B — 11 May 2008

Because this is an adaptation of the sequel of one of the books on my "Worst Books Ever" list (aka "Over Sea, Under Stone" or the "robbers-are-breaking-into-our-house-so-let's-drink-tea" book), I wasn't screaming desperate to see it.

But Christopher Eccleston was in it, and yeah, I watch Doctor Who and Heroes too much, so I had to see it. Couldn't be worse than the book, could it? Apparently it could. I watched it with my mom, who painstakingly pointed out every single inconsistency in this movie.

So she was talking nonstop about it until it put her to sleep. Though I couldn't tell what was true to the book and what wasn't, I felt the movie was flawed regardless. The biggest, all-encompassing flaw was that the movie was far too short for the amount of information it needed to get across.

That meant ZERO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. So there was a lot of "Who the heck is that?" "What are they doing?" and mostly "Why should I care?" As "Seeker of the Signs" Will's looking for.

.. well, signs that will renew Light's strength, I guess. Unfortunately, we never learn what's so special about each of these signs or why they are where they are - it's all just "Oh, look, another sign just popped out of nowhere for no reason! How convenient!" And then we have the whole witch subplot that's extraneous to the book and doesn't go anywhere.

Even Chris Eccleston is flat, but it's not his fault. The dialogue is boring and chopped up so much that we have the basic information and no chance to absorb it before the next important fact is presented.

Bottom line - live-action fantasy movies - especially ones adapted from books - should never NEVER be less than an hour and a half long. This was bending that rule at the hour and a half mark, so everything felt like it was moving on fast forward, sort of like when you hit "Fast Play" on your DVD player, and you can still sort of understand what's going on, but it's all very jumpy and incoherent, like a silent movie action sequence.

The ONLY reason I'm giving this more than one star is because of its cinematography and special effects. Most action sequences are filmed at odd angles and alternate between regular speed and slow motion - but it all feels seamless, not forced (at least in most cases).

In other words, it's eye candy. Too bad it has no substance. So unless you like empty pretty things, give this a pass, otherwise you'll get nothing out of it other than a certain Ace of Base song stuck in your head.

"I saw the siiign, and it opened up my eyes. I saw the siiiign.".