Review of The Secret of Moonacre (2009) by Averil W — 04 Feb 2009

I give this 2 stars and even then I think I'm being overly generous....

I'd have given it another star had the main girl NOT been that Dakota Blue Richards.

Speaking of her - has she actually had acting lessons? She's so monotone and utterly terrible it is beyond my comprehension. I gave her the benefit of the doubt in The Golden Compass (an utterly terrible attempt at the fantasy genre - partly her fault, partly terrible direction), as there were one or two elements of that film that was okay.

Here? What the hell was she playing at? Seriously, no. I want her out of business.... she's appalling, and pretentious and completely unbelievable.

Alike The Golden Compass this also had very bad direction. I'll be honest, I don't know anything else that Csupo has directed off the top of my head - his name isn't even vagely familiar to me... I'm hoping this was his debut, and that he can watch this back and cringe to himself for a shoddy attempt at a genre that is -let's be honest- ladened with stereotypes.... but there's a knack to doing it originally and cleverly and this just.... well.... fails.

The cast were appalling. Ioan Gruffudd, I am a fan of the man but... what the hell was he thinking? Shame on you! Natascha whatsherface was a TERRIBLE choice too! And she's so wooden and old and just, ergh. Tim Curry I can let off the hook because the man has always been insane.

The story was also utterly ridiculous. And not in a good way. It did its thing, and it was perfectly watchable just... very boring. I could've gone to sleep, woke up and not felt I'd missed anything.

Rather liked the black lion though, and that lad with the A Clockwork Orange hat and eyeliner.

But that is all.