Review of The Scarlet Letter (1995) by Colin B — 31 Mar 2009

Demi Moore is married but shags Gary Oldman anyway, and it's all very "Oh, Reverand", "Oh, Eliza"...I think that was her name, anyway, she has his child but won't say it's his so she gets sent to prison.

Not sure exactly what happened after that as I got bored and started making up my own script involving time travel and the necessity of laser guns. I noticed that Robert Duvall popped up and went insane, then Gary Oldman was standing in the rain crying.

Skipped a few chapters...then Moore had to wear a red 'A', hence the title, and then Oldman offers to give his life for hers, and then indians attacked, Robert Duvall died but I didn't see how, and then they rode off into the sunset together.

Well, it wasn't a sunset, but you get the idea. Oh, and there was a bit where a slave girl stripped off for a bed that flew in the window. Actually, the best bit was finding out that Gary Oldman has no recollection of making this film as he was drunk the whole time.