Review of The Returned (2004) by Lawrence W — 04 Aug 2007
You know, I love French people. I think they are incredibly kind and I have never encountered the stereotypical American bashing Frenchman/woman. However, that being said, I think their films generally suck ass.
They are always pretentious butt gazing pieces of trash that would bore the paint off an unpainted wall. This movie is no exception. The filmmaker took what is an incredibly interesting premise (the dead come back, but they aren't flesh eating monsters, just sort of.
..comatose...), and turned it into your typically mind numbingly slow moving look into uh...the effect of death on the living? How the dead would feel about returning? I have no idea. Now, I'm not the full expert on this film as I turned it off about an hour in.
And if you know me, you know that I can sit through ANYTHING, so that should tell you the quality of this. This movie is solely for those who want to sit in coffee shops and talk about the socio-political ramifications of zombies while smoking self rolled clove cigarettes and staring longingly at passing cars.
It's for the people who sit on a bus listening to Belle and Sebastian and stare at rolling hillsides. And I for one think that people would not react so calmly and rationally about the recently deceased returning.
The town just sort of goes "Yep...they came back...cool..let's stare longingly at each other..."... You're better off renting an old fashioned blood and guts zombie flick, at least they aren't pretentious, and know what they're doing.
I could be totally wrong, maybe the ending of this film would have blown me away, but if you can't interest me enough to even stay to the ending, then who the fuck cares how good your ending is? I'm sure that anybody who could "defend" this movie would use the age old defense of "Oh, you just don't like it because it's not your typical shoot em up bang em up American rah rah rah violent action film, it's way over your head.
." and you know something, it's not. It's just as fucking stupid as those movies.
This review of The Returned (2004) was written by Lawrence W on 04 Aug 2007.
The Returned has generally received mixed reviews.
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