Review of The Raven (2012) by Santiagomakiina — 07 May 2012

Let me break it out to you by guaranteeing that if you watch this movie you will be at a minimum entertained. Since films are made with that intention in mind, we could all agree that this production did their job exactly as expected.

Although, something has to be said for the collection of mockeries that continue to test our patience and make us feel like we've been robbed and laughed out of our hard earned cash. Yes. Don't look away. You know who you are... Grab a tub of popcorn, bring your favorite movie companion, sit down, and prepare yourself to have a decent time.

The premise is simple. Edgar Allan Poe, famous horror novelist of the time. You do know this is a period piece you are watching? 1800s? ... Ok. So, Poe's finals days on earth are a bit of a mystery, and Hollywood decided what better way for a famous horror novelist to spend those last few days of his life than to get entangled in his own horror fare. Brilliant. Yes? Obviously the guy didn't get enough of it in his factual life.

Our guy finds himself in the middle of what appears to be the endless pursuit of a criminal that uses Poe's famous novels as staging for fresh murders of his own. And, to make things a bit more edgy, the bad guy kidnaps Poe's bride to be moments before they're about to announce their engagement. Intense and puzzling. Definitely fun.

Since I'm a guy, I'm going to point out to my fellow men that this is not the kind of movie that's going to get you laid. John Cusack used to do those kinds of movies back when. But he's gone from holding a boom box like no one else could in "Say Anything" to becoming an irate alcoholic with a penchant for poetry and even a streak of suicide in this one... Well, I did tell you this movie won't get you laid.

Now, ladies, I do hear some of you find Mr. Cusack attractive. But if he's not your cup of tea, Luke Evans might just do the trick. He's a handsome foreigner from Wales that holds the eye.

Both actors do a good job at the act. Their roles are convincing and well written. It would be superfluous to give Cusack the extra credit for playing Edgar Allan Poe. A clearly challenging role. He's after all the movie star here and expected to get the film to recoup moneys invested. John! You got a few bills from me! Happy to oblige!

The rest of the ensemble played it well. Alice Eve looked fantastic as the lady in distress buried in a basement. Literally. She had a few choice words at the start. Even read some poetry here and there. But her talents were largely invested later on in the picture. Wearing a super tight bustier. Crying, sobbing, begging and screaming from under a pile of dirt. I ran this by an actor friend of mine and he did confirm it is a tough gig to do all that nonsense while laying flat on a hard wood-plank set for 12 hours straight. So, props to you Miss Eve. It looked fantastic from where I was sitting.

In fact, I was pleased to see her role was written as a tough chick. There are moments when she actually shows more balls than the largely depressed Mr. Poe, who is supposed to come rescue her. You have to love a tough chick! Right?

Brendan Gleeson is worth a mention. For some reason I particularly liked his character. The tough old man that came this far in life. Money. Power. A great -looking beard. And his daughter gets the crap end of the stick. I mean, aren't all parents expected to have their daughters date broke alcoholics with irate tendencies and fans with criminal intent? You see where I'm going with this... But Mr. Gleeson was as convincing as his role firm. When I grow up and get old, probably should say older, can I be just like Gleeson's character? Tough as nails!

I am partial to mysteries done a certain way. What can I say, I like beef medium rare. Not any other way.

The story line, however interesting, it follows a chain of events that unfold one after the other in a consequential manner as presented in the screen. With no hope from the audience to anticipate much of what will happen next. Personally, just like my steak, I like to see where my story might end up. I want to feel half intelligent and be presented with clues that allow me to participate in the crime solving. Just so I feel a bit smarter leaving the theater. Not that I would be. But a little pretense is nice sometimes. Specially having made a monetary investment in the viewing.

Some of you out there, though, like to sit down and eat whatever is served without expectation or involvement. un-plug completely, if you will. In that case, you are in the right theater. This is that film. The puzzle of crimes and locations and little clues and fantastic mask balls and horse chasing in the beautifully photographed mist is quite cool to watch. So, as I said. I'll reiterate. It will all be very entertaining... And that's it.