Review of The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985) by Michael M — 17 Mar 2011

Our little Woody is still on fire here. (I refuse to apologize for such a good joke. Very well written. Very.) But don't worry! He's going to put himself out soon and make at least a decades worth of mediocre films! (or flicks as that fat bastard in jorts from New Jersey likes to say).

An Open Letter To Woody Allen:

Dear Woody,.

Do you know that you don't have to make a film every year? Or even every two years? Or three? You can go years without making another. And there are plenty of directors who've bowed out before dying. Hell! Kevin Smith is going to step away from the director's chair! Even he had the good sense to walk away!

I can only assume that you have a problem. An addiction. Don't worry. I know a good methadone clinic. Or I know a dealer who'll sell you actual drugs.

I know the good people who produce the television series Intervention, and that is us knocking on your door. I know you are reading this as you are a huge fan of my facebook movie reviews. And I know you're mad that I haven't actually written something for each film I've seen. WELL I KNOW WHEN I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY.

So you better let us in.

Sincerely,.

Magnes.