Review of The Neon Demon (2016) by Amadouiraklidis — 28 Sep 2022

This movie is **** I mean, truly awful. Sickening to the core, from the content and to the end product.

Apparently the director of photography got the script and discussed with the director that she didn't like it. To which he replied that she must have gotten the fake script.

The director must have been lying, because this script must've been written while he was online shopping and scrolling through Netflix. This movie is what a toddler and a preteen would come up with if you asked them to tell you a scary story and gave them an hour to finish the idea.

And if he was telling the truth, I feel bad to think of whatever dreadful, flaming pile of you-know-what this "director" made anyone read in the supposed "fake script." Sounds more like something he came up with after the 10th person told him about how garbage his movie was going to be.

The one thing about this movie that was decent was the photography. Really stunning and unique shots, particularly at the beginning to draw in the viewer. This, coupled with the interesting parameter of the story, there was a lot of potential. At the outset this was around a 7, maybe an 8. Then there was a tiger inside of Jesse's room, for no reason, which was never explained. What the **** 6. Then one of the creepy models licked Jesse's blood out of jealousy. 5. Then Jesse became inexplicably obnoxious and insufferable, from one moment to the next. 4. Then Jesse's landlord rapes a 13 year old. Let that sink in. 3. Then the "OMG let's be best friends" lesbian had sex with a corpse. That isn't a joke, that really happened in this movie. 2. Then the weirdo, psychotic, loser models killed Jesse and ate her, and bathed in her blood like they were shooting a porno. 1. Then they went to a photo shoot, and one of the creepy losers vomited a whole eyeball and killed herself... and the other loser swallowed it whole. You can't make this stuff up, this really happened in the movie. 0.

Then, for the last cherry on top, there was a dedication to someone called Liv before the credits roll. Really? Whoever Liv is, I feel sorry for her, because, unless she had a role in this movie, she did not deserve this. This movie is more like toxic waste than entertainment.

This movie is so bad, I believe I'm entitled to restitutions from everyone involved with this sham of a production. Mail me an apology and any and all checks to my address at the corner of "don't ever make another movie" and "you're awful at this.