Review of The Lords of Salem (2013) by Andy F — 30 Aug 2013

I really wanted to like Lords of Salem. It's a very slow burn horror flick, or at least that's what I thought it was that I was watching. I love that Zombie wears his influences on his sleeves and for what it's worth, The Lords of Salem is wonderfully shot.

The problem is that when you do a slow burn, you have to eventually have a pay off that is worth the slow burn. It has to build towards something. Characters are introduced only to be tossed by the wayside and story takes a backseat to artful pandering and really.

..it's just not worth it. Zombie has a good film on his hands. He's got a good story, he's got the camera work, but he doesn't know what to do with the film and it shows. I can't help but think that in the hands of a more competent director and with an actual, well drawn out thought process this could be a fucking amazing film.

Zombie should have pitched this to Aronofsky because Aronofsky could have done the surreal, but made the film a coherent and competent story that the surreal bits actually help tell. I watched this and kept thinking about Black Swan and the seduction.

..this was perfect Aronofsky material. Zombie starts the story just fine and then just says fuck it halfway through and the end result is just...meh'.