Review of The Lords of Salem (2013) by Schultz L — 06 Oct 2013
Lords of Salem - two words "Vanity Project" And frankly I don't know why Rob Zombie bothered.
I missed his other movies on purpose because generally Rock Stars make sucky movies. I was not proven wrong.
First of all you want to use the history of Salem, Mass. Great but then you call the witches The LORDS of Salem? Yoo Hoo! Men in the 1600's would NOT call women LORDS! It was a masculine title. You're trying to make a PC Horror Movie? Guess what? You failed at the title!
The witches? Just imagine a crazy old homeless woman naked, that's exactly what they looked like. Apparently Mr. Zombie thinks gross is scary. No dude Gross is just gross.
The only Bright point in the movie was you get to see Mrs. Zombie's (She plays the lead character.) ass a couple of times, not enough to make this turd of a movie worth seeing. As an actress she plays stoned very well I think she was wasted for most of the movie. The rest of the movie seems like a montage of segments he had leftover from his videos. Either that or an acid trip he had that he thought was awesome. I saw this Crap on DVD for nothing I still felt ripped off.
If you find "Lords of Salem" In the Clearance bin at your local Wal-Mart (Which it will be soon.) leave it there. Its only value is as recyclable material.
This review of The Lords of Salem (2013) was written by Schultz L on 06 Oct 2013.
The Lords of Salem has generally received mixed reviews.
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