Review of The Lords of Salem (2013) by Robert B — 24 Nov 2013

The film is certainly interesting and will keep you watching out of sheer "wtf-ness". That said, it's not good. The cinematography is great and Bruce Davison, Ken Foree, Jeff Daniel Philips, Judy Geeson, Patricia Quinn (GOD DAMN YOU ZOMBIE FOR ROPING HER INTO THIS!!!!!), and Dee Wallace (YUP, HE EVEN GOT THE MOM FROM E.

T. IN THIS....GOD DAMN YOOOUUU!!!!!!!) all do stand up jobs with the roles they are given. Sheri-Moon attempts to act, but I just didn't really care for her character here. The film is full of bizarre, hallucinatory and nightmarish imagery and pretty decently replicates the atmosphere and vibe of a 70's horror flick.

Heck, it's idea of music being used to do Satan's bidding and of a coven disgusing itself as an indie band is actually pretty neat ones (though they are both never fully explored and are more of a way to get the weird activities going.

Also, not much story here and it leaves a lot of hanging plot threads and some character's arcs go nowhere, I'm looking at you Whitey). I would say this was an ok film, except I simply can not get behind the last 15-20 minutes and it's this part that brings this film down to a one star rating.

Like most Zombie films, this film is dark and mean. I really wanted to like this film, but it's many satanic themes and just plain terrible ending ruin it for me. I'm not going to say run away from this one, but I will say just don't bother.

I would compare this to House of 1000 Corpses (a film which I still love), except where House was sick but fun, Salem is decidedly disturbing and not fun (It's also similar to House of The Devil..

.another film I really didn't care for). The bottom line here is this: Rob Zombie needs to stop making films.