Review of The Lonely Ones (2006) by Brian S — 20 Oct 2011

If you find that you're a lonely one, you might try to meet other lonely ones. A good way to do this is to go to film school so you can learn how to make a proper movie. Or you could sign up for acting lessons. Then you'll not only meet other lonely ones, you won't look like you're in a fourth grade school play when you're on screen! There's no good reason to be a lonely one if you don't want to be lonely, just as there's no good reason to see "The Lonely Ones" unless you want to see what people who don't know how to make a film or act can accomplish on a budget of around $39.95. I gave it two stars because it's so lifelessly awful that it's fun to riff on; otherwise it would've gotten 1.5.

Oh, and the black guy dies first. You'll be expecting that if you make it through the first 15 minutes of this dud about human-eating ghouls who sometimes have sex with their victims... but only after a long scene about how awful it is to be a ghoul. Seriously. RUN!!!!