Review of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) by Stephanie P — 21 Mar 2011

Hmmmm, what can I say, what - can - I - say? I promise you that I did go into this one with an open mind because I'd been told (on good authority) that it was a well worth seeing. You know, a bit of a cult film, funny and clever, artsy and creative. Sadly though, I have to tell you, even before the first half hour had passed, a weird, all-enveloping malaise descended upon me and started to suck the very life blood from my veins. My head started to nod and my brain called out 'you want a nap....have a nap....you're getting sleeeeeeepy....'. However, I knew I had to stay awake or risk the brusque judgement and wrath of my co-watcher who's eagle eye can detect any (and I mean any) instances of inattention when it comes to movie watching (don't even try to fiddle with the thermostat...). And so that claustrophobic feeling of no-escape compounded the general ennui of my viewing experience. I can't quite put my finger on it but there's something just plain wrong about this film; as if it were really aimed at folks in another dimension and accidentally ended up here - even the red woolly hats and spangly wetsuits don't enhance the enjoyment, they just make it sadder. Either Wes Anderson was trying way too hard, or not hard enough, and his attempts at humour or 'way out craziness' fell short. And then there was Steve Zissou's 'son', played by Owen Wilson. Now I'm not saying Wilson's acting was horrible or offensive or anything like that but, let's face it, his character was as boring and one dimensional as an arrowroot cookie. Why get Owen Wilson to do that? Why not just hire some unemployable goon off the street? At least Alistair Hennessy (Jeff Goldblum) and Oseary Drakoulias (Michael Gambon) were actual characters, Anjelica Huston was ok too.

I didn't expect much from the plot (and I wasn't disappointed on that score) but I thought there might be more to this movie . Aside from one or two feeble titters, it basically left me as cold as a washed up jellyfish on a moonlit night. I'm sure I shall be told (by those in the know) that I just 'didn't get it' and that I am a complete prole who knows nothing about art but frankly, The Life Aquatic ripped off two hours of my life that I will never get back and so I must declare that its purported greatness is about as great as those imaginary clothes that the emperor paraded around the streets in.

PS I did like the colourful little critters and fish though.