Review of The Legend of Tarzan (2016) by Brady L — 27 Nov 2017

Watching a CGI-heavy movie about a man raised by apes in the African jungle sounds like a decent evening. However, somebody forgot to tell the director and screenwriter that this was a well beloved story with plenty of ways to take the story.

Although I enjoyed Margot Robbie as Jane, Skarsgard is not my idea of what Tarzan looks or sounds like. I understand that if Tarzan were to leave the jungle to join society, he would probably go through the agonizing ordeal of trying to prove who he is and what happened to him and his family.

This film completely flies through all that, simply saying he is now a Duke and living on a plantation with servants and housekeepers. The story is alright for the most part, Belgian king is losing money at a fantastical rate due to a colony in central Africa that is not completely paying off.

In order to become profitable, the king sends a liaison to negotiate with the local tribesman for access to their diamond mines. The price of this business is Tarzan being delivered to this tribe of cannibals.

The side hustle is of course the king and his lackey are planning on using the money to pay mercenaries to conquer the country and take over. Taking that story, the film goes through it rather quickly, slowing down for the backstory of Tarzan, the many quirky scenes with Jane and her various captors and even a long sequence involving the village where Jane grew up and Tarzan learned language and human interaction.

The movie moves at a weird pace and introduces ideas and aspects willy-nilly and there are very little payoffs. I would be remiss if I did not include my own take on the ants. Utilizing ants to close wounds in lieu of stitches is real and does work.

I did not immediately look up the type of ant they used nor did I research heavily whether this practice was legit. However, I have heard in the past of people in extremely remote locations where insects run the joint having injuries that would require medical attention and simply use what is available at the time.