Review of The Last Stand (2013) by Nesbitt10 — 02 Jun 2013

“The Last Stand” presents a decent supporting cast (yes, Johnny Knoxville is part of that group), the film’s pace moves along quickly, and features the new Corvette ZR1. Its major drawback however, is its star protagonist that simply isn’t up to playing the part, which surprisingly, demands some emotional range. Although Director Kim Jee-Woon has carved a distinguished career out of hyper-violent silliness, his first American film is a throwback to the low CGI, focusing on stunt action with the revered themes of justice and honor, prevalent in classic Hollywood westerns. A mix of established actors with a handful of unknowns, a hearty dose of violence mixed with questionable humor, lots of guns accompanied by bland dialogue and cheesy one-liners. All in All, “The Last Stand” fully embraces exactly what it is, never taking itself seriously, and it works for the most part because of it.

Sheriff Owens (Schwarzenegger) is a man who has resigned himself to a life of fighting what little crime takes place in sleepy border town of Sommerton, Arizona after leaving the LAPD because of a botched operation. The story begins with a ridiculous, elaborate escape scenario that is planned and successfully executed to free a notorious, ruthless drug kingpin named Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega). Sheriff Owens receives a call from the inept Agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker, who simply recites the lines in his role) of the FBI, which states a dangerous inmate has escaped from their custody, and is currently heading towards Sommerton to cross into Mexico. Arnold and his hapless deputies are their last opportunity to make a stand. Cortez is darting for the border at 200 mph in a specially outfitted car with a hostage and, a fierce army of gang members. At first reluctant to become involved, and then counted out because of the perceived ineptitude of his small town force, Owens ultimately accepts responsibility for the face off.

Once the crew of villain’s roll into Arnold’s town, the guns start firing and continue to fire, and copious amounts of blood is shed, all while ‘humor’ is injected between the bullet shells hitting the ground. We are exactly where we want to be engaged in an affectionately knowing B-grade showdown of stupidity versus even greater stupidity. Jee-Woon eventually narrows the field down to two, with Owens and Cortez facing off in a car chase through overgrown cornfields, before a final fisticuffs set against a super-stylized backdrop. The result may not seem meritorious at first glance, but for those with minimal expectations and a bloodlust for a certain strain of nostalgia, “The Last Stand” qualifies as pleasure that you just might feel guilty about.