Review of The Island (1980) by Allan C — 03 Aug 2017

Ridiculous, but entertaining tale of Michael Caine being captured by modern day pirates. Now these are not AK-47 Somali pirates you see in Captain Phillips. These are Blackbeard/Jack Sparrow style of pirates who have been hiding out for generations in the Caribbean! And there in lies the pirates' dilemma.

They have been isolated too long and are now too inbred and are need to freshen up their gene pool. It's not Caine's DNA they want, but it's his son's. They only keep Ciane alive so not to alienate his son while they brainwash him into embracing their old timey pirate ways.

David Warner, one of my favorite actors, plays the pirate leader, which is a lot of fun. There's also Zakes Mokae in a small supporting role. The film was written by "Jaws" author Peter Benchley based upon his novel and was directed by Michael Ritchie, who directed everything from classic comedies like "The Bad News Bears" (which I consider the greatest sports film of all time) to "Prime Cut" (a fun pulpy Lee Marvin crime film), but this film ended up being a huge flop.

Ritchie delivers a lot more violence than I'd expected, which made this seem almost more of a horror film than a thriller, which I kind of liked, but which I'm sure will put off many viewers, even if they got past absurd premiss that there might be Mennoniet buccaneers.

Reflecting on this film, I think an argument could be made that this was an early example of the torture porn formula that would come into vogue about 20 years later with Extreme Asian cinema and Eli Roth's "Hostel.

" This film doesn't feature excruciating torture scenes, but it does have a set up that seemed similar to a lot of the bad English language torture films like "Touristas" or "Wolf Creek" with a vacations-gone-wrong formula leading to torture.

This film really is a mess, but I did enjoy it in a campy way. It's hard to resist seeing pirates sail and old timey ship toward a modern day vessels and then lay siege with with muskets, grappling hooks, canons, and swords, all set to a fine Ennio Morricone score.

If you're expecting a quality thriller, don't watch this film. If you're in the mood for a ridiculous and ridiculously violent film, you might enjoy this one. I got three stars worth of entertainment out of this film, though I doubt most people will enjoy it as much as I did.