Review of The Hustler (1961) by Colin D — 24 Dec 2007

So, I come into the office today, and I'm the only one here. It's quiet. I make a few calls, realize the few, if any, are actually doing business today. Which is fine. I'm leaving at noon anyway. It's not that I had to come in. I don't work for some large and inhuman corporation anymore and have no middle management to answer to. It was my choice. Anyway, that's not where I wanna go with this... Let's start over...

I'm bored. So, let's talk movies. Specifically ones I've seen recently.

[i]Network - [/i]I've seen it numerous times, and it always amazes me. I don't know that anyone makes satire like this anymore. I wonder what Paddy Chayefsky (and I'm too lazy at the moment to spell check his name) thinks about how his satire on the dumbing down of network news was incredibly prescient. Howard Beale surely gave rise to O'Reilly, Olbermann, Limbaugh, and Maher, right? What also helps keep this from a dull one-note joke is the heart that he writes into the story, in the form of William Holden. And the fully realized characters. Yeah, Faye Dunaway plays a heartless, ratings driven harlot, but she's not some shrill harpy I can't empathize with. Today this movie would have self-referential moment after self-referential moment chockful of obvious irony. Rather, it's played straight, with no winks from director Sidney Lumet. It's as if he was almost saying, "This ain't funny. This is the future." How right he was.

[i]Thank You For Smoking[/i] - Okay, maybe they do still make good satire. What I liked best about this one was that it doesn't jab at one side. It attacks the whole machine that make lobbyists for Big Tobacco (and gun manufactors, and alcohol) almost a necessary evil. What helps here is that it's also sort of a character study, and Aaron Eckhart pulls it all off in the main role. Here's a man who's good at what he does. It pays the bills, but he's not really well liked. The final confrontation with William H. Macy at the congressional hearings hits all the nails on the head, but I think maybe the filmmakers wussed out a bit in the end. Everything was a little, too... satisfying. That, and Katie Holmes has a few moments that make me scratch my head looking back, knowing her true motivations. And I can't remember the last time I laughed as hard at the throwaway line that follows:

"Dad, why is the American government the best government?".

"Because of our endless appeals system.".

[i]The Hustler[/i] - I saw a good portion of this again over the weekend, and really need to take time and rewatch the whole thing. Great performances, and an script that is so... literary? I always find that to be bit of a slap in the face to movies to use the word literary, but dammit, it's the best description I can think of this hungover morning. I'm a cynical, uncaring person when I start to watch a movie, so you know the filmmakers are doing something right when a film can present some characters who bring on their own troubles, fuck it all up even more when pridefully trying to fix it all, and make me care as much as I do at the end of this one.

[i]I Am Legend[/i] - Will Smith himself is becoming something of a legend, I say. Name one other movie star that can open a movie like this on his [i][b]name[/b] [/i]alone. There is no built in audience for this. No novel with a rabid fanbase (no offense to Richard Matheson, but this isn't Harry Potter). No amusement park ride. No comic book. Sure, it's a CGI action movie, and people are usually up for that kind of stuff, but it was Will Smith that sold this movie. People lined up to see him play the last man on earth and fight zombies, or vampires, or whatever those shitty CGI creatures were. And Will Smith delivers the goods, even if the movie around him kinda doesn't. He carries this movie for much of its running with no costar, save a few mannequins and Samantha, the dog. What I found notable about the performance is how much Will Smith has tweaked his on-screen persona enough to be less the "Welcome to Earth!" action hero, and less grating, and I am ever thankful for it. The movie is ultimately kind of a letdown, and I don't want to say why because then I'll have to spoil some plot points that occur after about two-thirds of the way through the movie. There are just a few ideas that really could have been developed that weren't, and the movie ultimately doesn't amount to anything. It rather comes across as pointless in the end. Its almost as if the filmmakers decided to make a statement about God and faith, made a note in the script, and left it at that.

Since I probably won't be seeing any more movies this year (not that I've seen that many 2007 releases) here the list, from best to worst:

1. [i]No Country for Old Men[/i] - Was there any doubt what I'd put here?

2. [i]300[/i] - Sometimes, straightforwardness in story works. Uncomplicated heroes, uncomplicated villains. One wants freedom, the other wants to take it. Fight.

3. [i]American Gangster[/i] - Or: How I Ran the Harlem Drug Trade Like a Fortune 500 Company.

4. [i]Zodiac[/i] - Almost forgot about this one, as I'm sure Oscar voters have. Which is a damn shame, because it's freakin' great.

5. [i]Superbad[/i] - I never thought I'd laugh so hard at a period joke, let alone twice.

6. [i]Grindhouse[/i] - I know the moment I buy the movies separately on DVD they'll put out some damn special edition combo...

7. [i]Knocked Up[/i] - Katherine Heigl needs to shut her whore mouth and be thankful she was part of this fine film.

8. [i]Dan in Real Life[/i] - This may be the first, and only, time a movie starring Dane Cook will crack my top ten.

9. [i]The Simpsons Movie[/i] - Penis.

10. [i]Live Free or Die Hard[/i] - John McClane saving the day again.

11. [i]I Am Legend[/i] - See above.

Quality drop off precipitously here. That's what happens when you see fewer than 20 new releases in a year....

12. [i]Shrek the Third -[/i] I really don't remember much about the movie which probably isn't saying much in its favor. I seemed to enjoy it at the time, though.

13. [i]Spider-Man 3 - [/i]Look, I'm all emo! And I'm fighting 3 villains, not including my bitchy girlfriend who'd rather bottle up all her problems instead of telling me about them, then get pissed when I don't understand!!!!!!!!! Sorry... sore subject for me... Bitch...

14. [i]Transformers[/i] - Someone let Michael Bay out of his playpen again!

15. [i]Mr. Brooks[/i] - William Hurt. Kevin Costner. Demi Moore. Dane Cook. The casting director's list must have been shorter than this one. From William Hurt to Dane Cook in three steps.

16. [i]Reign Over Me[/i] - From [i]No Country[/i], to this in 13 steps. Which is a shame because this was much worse than 13-steps away from [i]No Country[/i]. More like eleventy-brazillian. Okay, that was a bad joke. Kinda like this movie. And who's idea was it to end the movie with a shitty Pearl Jam cover of The Who classic? That's like kicking a man when he's already down. You think the worst is over then - BAM!!!! Eddie Vedder destroying a brilliant Townshend song. And I kinda like Eddie Vedder...

The best 2007 release I haven't seen yet:

[i]There Will Be Blood - [/i]Paul Thomas Anderson behind the camera. Daniel Day-Lewis in front. How can it not be a thousand barrels of awesome?

Others I want to see, in no particular order:

[i]Juno[/i].

[i]Walk Hard[/i].

[i]Sweeney Todd[/i] - which says a lot because I've become sort of jaded against Tim Burton lately.

[i]Before the Devil Knows You're Dead[/i].

[i]Gone Baby Gone[/i] - Affleck directing and I want to see it? Hell, it has frozen over.

[i]The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford[/i].

[i]The Kite Runner[/i].

[i]Into the Wild[/i].

[i]Eastern Promises[/i].

[i]Lust, Caution[/i].

[i]The Diving Bell and the Butterfly[/i].

[i]Beowulf[/i].

I think that covers movies...

[b]TV[/b].

I see that there were other shows on television besides [i]Lost, 24[/i], and [i]South Park[/i], but damned if I could find the time for them. And that ends this pointless section.

[b]MUSIC[/b].

It's funny, but as much as I tried to keep up with music when I was in college, it's gotten incredibly hard to keep up with the good stuff. I need satellite radio, or something.

I bought [i]Era Vulgaris[/i] by Queens of the Stone Age and [i]Icky Thump[/i] by the White Stripes. That's pretty much it for albums, I believe. [i]Icky Thump[/i] is absolutely terrific, and I think its the Stripes best work yet. Focused. Great songwriting, too. [i]Vulgaris[/i] is more [i]Lullabyes to Paralyze[/i] than [i]Songs for the Deaf[/i], but that ain't bad.

I heard Feist's [i]The Reminder[/i] before that damn iPod commercial thrust her into the spotlight even more. And she's deserving of all attention. A damn fine album.

I know I could have downloaded Radioheads latest, but I didn't. I'm sure I will eventually. What I've heard off of it was pretty good thus far.

I also keep hearing about The Arcade Fire... I just need to bite the bullet and listen. Not sure why I haven't.

I didn't even know about [i]Raising Sand[/i], the album with Robert Plant and Alison Krauss. How I missed that, I have no idea. Two of my favorite singers together, fer chrissakes. Ah, well. I'll pick it up eventually.

I didn't get the new Foo Fighters, but was tempted. "The Pretender" is a damn fine rock song, but their last few albums have been... generic. 3 or 4 really good songs, with 6 blah songs. I give them credit for crafting good pop/rock tunes, and doing so in a fashion not nearly as bland as Nickelback... but come on Grohl! Do something... EPIC. I know you have it in you.

This years "I can't believe Jim likes that song" award goes to:

Aly and AJ, "Potential Break Up Song". It's all bubblegummy, it's girly, the chorus is semi-retarded ("You're not living, til you're not living for me" or some such nonsense), I have no idea what an "Aly and AJ" are, and it's over-produced to hell.

But dammit... the bridge is kinda clever in its dare to the shithead boyfriend: "This is the Potential Breakup Song/Our Album needs just one/Oh baby please", it's catchy, and the girls' delivery is spot-on.

Yes, guys, I'll surrender my nuts in a second. Let me finish this entry at least.

[b]Worst song of the year:[/b].

"Crank Dat" is just too easy a choice, isn't it? I mean, it's just dumb. Christ, I lost IQ points just think of that song. So, naming that worst song of the year would be like shooting fish in a barrel (to abuse an overused cliche, which, I realize as I type that, is redundant, and let's see if I can throw any more damn commas in this, you know, just to abuse commas, too).

Unfortunately, my hatred of another band supercedes. Nickelback. Fucking Chad Kroeger. God damned Canadians.

Oh and then there's their American counterpart Hinder. Chodes. Every last one of them.

I hated "If Everyone Cared". Oh, Chad. Yes, the world would be better if everyone cared. Keen observation. One problem though. Even if everone cared, everyone would still DIE, unlike you claim in your song. So, uh, fuck off. And it starts so sweetly, with lyrics I actually like, "From underneath the trees, we watch the sky, confusing stars for satellites." Too bad it turns into cliche mush after that.

But, still, that's not the song I hated more than any other this year.

Hinder released "Better Than Me", which is a song about some douche who regrets mistreating some piece of ass who moved on. Yes, she can do better than you and apparently is. Get the fuck over and quit whining about it on my damn radio. Thanks so much. And what the fuck does innocence taste like? Seriously. I've asked this before and no one has told me what that line is even supposed to [i]mean[/i]. It doesn't even remotely begin to make the least bit of sense. Is it a metaphor for vagina? Well, I couldn't imagine calling that "innocence"? GAH! I need to stop. I'm gonna have an aneurysm.

And yet, that's not the song I hated more than Bin Laden hated Israel.

No, that award goes to: <...drumroll...>.

"Rockstar", Nickelback.

What? It came out in 2006? Yeah, but when it died the death it deserved then, they couldn't leave it alone. They re-released that garbage again in June this year with a video, and now I can't go to a damn bar without hearing it. "Oh, it's not that bad," someone says to me.

Yes. Yes it is. It was almost a song I could like. Here were these Canadian douches admitting how fucking cool it is to be a rock star. How you get all the shit you could ever want. That is badass. Then it turns into a stupid cliche warning about the trappings of fame and life on the road. Fuck off.

I want a house on an episode of "Cribs".

I want to be a rock star.

And don't tell me how much it sucks because you're chased by drugged out whores, because as you all know, being chased by drugged out whores is the whole reason for becoming a rock star.

So, congrats Nickelback for being spineless hypocrites. You know you're living it up, so don't preach to us. Please.

------.

And finally, an anecdote.

I was at Lindsey's high school reunion in June (it WAS June, right?) and I'm sitting at a table with her and a group of her classmates. A girl picks up a crucifix and says, "Why do we use this as our symbol? What if we went around with electric chairs around our necks? Do you know what this symbolizes to me, now?".

Some nerdy douche (damn, I've overused that word haven't I) replies, "Conformity.".

A clever bunch, for sure. Recyclying shit that they've heard a million times over. They're such... free thinkers. I try to interject, and bring an actual discussion on religious symbolism, but it was pointless. They were too busy being cool and contrarian. It was like sitting with some smartass 15-year-old who just learned to think for himself. Nothing I could say could make these kids who went to Catholic school see the beauty in the cross. I'm by no means a practicing Christian, and haven't been to church in quite a while, but I appreciate all the great aspects of all religions. And that cross is one hell of a powerful symbol.

It's the greatest symbol of love. This guy was beaten, tortured and killed to save you. That's why the cross is used as THE symbol of Christianity. And if you can't appreciate that, minus whatever [i]stupid[/i] baggage you're holding on to from going to a Catholic school (and please... that is getting incredibly cliche), well, then I think you generally just FAIL as a free thinking person.

Anyway, that anecdote had nothing to do with anything else. I just kept forgetting to share, and it obviously bugged me for a while.