Review of The Host (2013) by Apemonkey666 — 28 Jul 2013

Stephenie Meyer is a one trick pony who apparently only has one story in her which she now is trying to milk in every which way possible. Melanie (Ronan) gets taken over by a soul-alien and wadda ya know: she loves one guy and the soul loves another guy.

..sounds familiar (Bella loves Vampire/Werewolf)? Although this film is not as bad as Twillight, it sure is long, boring and slow. 125 mins and almost nothing happens. We also get the same old tiring messages of hope and peacefull coexistence and yada yada yada.

By the end you'll be fighting to stay awake. Fell asleep twice. This is only scifi in concept, there is no science to be seen anywhere in the film and how are those glowy small soul aliens who live in little metal containers ever going to conquer the universe without opposable thumbs? How did they make the containers? How are they even going to get out of them (no thumbs remember)? What are they doing in there (sleeping, thinking about nothing, being bored out of their minds)? The story is very simplistic and superficial and clearly Meyer has no idea what scifi is all about.

She probably thought it was a nice backdrop for yet another slimy teen love story. One last thing: I'm pretty sure they put a gun to Andrew Niccol's head and forced him to make this crap. I don't even want to consider why the man who gave us 'Lord of War' and 'Gattaca' -two of the best films of all time- would willingly accept to make this vommit.

So yes, I didn't like it, go see it if you want.