Review of The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) by Disraelly C — 07 Jan 2010

BOTTOM LINE: It is soooooooooo boring! I had no plans to see "The Haunting of Molly Hartley" (as in it wasn't at the top of my to-do list), but my stepbrother bought a copy of it on DVD, so I figured I might as well get another film under my belt. Too bad it was this one. When I saw that Haley Bennett was the main star, I sort of hoped that the movie would be decent because I've really liked her work in the past. And I liked her here. I just didn't like the movie in general.

Here's the setup: we get a flashback to the late 90s and a teenage girl. She is wandering through a forest and comes across an old cabin. She goes inside while creepy music is playing that does nothing for the scene and BOO! her boyfriend pops up behind her. He gives her a necklace and wishes her a happy birthday and a man suddenly appears. He is the teenage girl's dad and he tells her to come with him. They get in his car and he starts driving really fast and the teenage girl is scared--like, really scared, like, OMG! And she should be--he aims to kill her, and himself, in the process. They get hit by another car, but neither of them die, so the dad decides to pick up a piece of the broken rearview mirror and stab her with it while saying something about not letting the darkness get her. So begins "The Haunting of Molly Hartley," a movie that features neither a haunting nor any hint of a ghost whatsoever. Nor is there an exorcism or Emily Rose, two elements of a far better "The...of..." movie. It also doesn't have a plot, interesting characters, or any idea what it's trying to be.

If anyone can please explain to me what the hell this movie is about, please hesitate to do so. I didn't find out during the actual film and I don't care to do so now. Nothing--and I mean literally nothing--happens until the last 24 minutes of the movie and by then, who cares? Who knows? What the hell is going on? WHERE ARE THE GHOSTS? The only interesting part of the movie to me was the ending, which was a surprise, but still didn't make any sense outside of the fact that some people were not who you were expecting them to be. That aside, I found it to be very demeaning to Christians. When are we going to get a movie where a Christian character is not presented in a way that makes them seem like a prude? I am Christian and I am very down-to-earth and outgoing. Where's that movie?

Anyway, I don't feel that I should write too long of a review for this film. It's not worth it, hence why I'm simply filling up space right now by telling you that it's not worth it. It's another dull, out-of-whack, by-the-numbers horror flick that IS NOT WORTH IT. "Heck nah.".

Critics who agree:

Marc Savlov, Austin Chronicle: "The real shocker is how hellishly yawn-inducing this utterly pointless and forgettable Haunting turns out to be. It's enough to make you scream.".

Score: 1/2 * (out of four).

Why I agree: I kept expecting something, ANYTHING, to happen, and it didn't.

Sam Adams, Los Angeles Times: "A dead-on-arrival thriller that resolutely fails to come to life.".

Score: 40 (out of 100).

Why I agree: It's obviously trying to rip off older horror movies like "Carrie" and "The Omen," but it fails in every way imaginable.

Adam Markovitz, Entertainment Weekly: "The story's a snooze, so the filmmakers punch it up with smash cuts and thunderclaps that turn the most laughably banal items -- birds, mail, an alarm clock -- into cheap jack-in-the-box shocks.".

Score: C- (on an "A" to "D" scale).

Why I agree: OMG, he's right--they do try to scare you with mail! I remember that scene clearly and I remember how unscared I was! That is so weird!