Review of The Grudge 3 (2009) by Brian W — 19 Jun 2009

Anyone walking through their local video store's new releases section can acknowledge this : throughout the last decade, straight-to-video sequels have been given an unusual boost by motion picture studios. The silver screen is not a necessary transition for films to adopt if they want to see profit. Those lesser continuations seem to be greenlit by the dozen each year. If you still wonder why, though, then maybe you don't understand an important part of the fundamental dynamics in the movie industry : if they want more, just give them more. ''But what if nobody really liked the predecessor?'', I can hear you ask. Well, that's another story, entirely...

There's something else that's unusual, but this time it's on a more personal level. I realize I am very probably alone among the ones of my kind, but there you go : I sort of liked Takashi Shimizu's 2004 remake of The Grudge (yes, that one with Sarah Michelle Gellar), as well as its 2006 sequel (yes, the one with Sarah Michelle Gellar in it for 5 minutes). They sure as hell are not objectively 'good' pieces of cinema, nor are they deliciously enjoyable thrill rides-- everyone who has seen either of them can attest there is a deadening, drawn-out mystique separating those creepy set-pieces that prevent them from being just breezy ghostly fun. Say what you want about them, but they are undeniably more patient and less shrill than a whole damn lot of other modern poltergeist tales...

...alright, alright. That doesn't make them any more worthwhile, I know. But hey, can't I draw some noteworthy observations out of those viewings of mine?

If the idea of making another quick buck on the americanized The Grudge franchise is not surprising in the least and frankly quite desperate, the very same can be said about this second sequel as a whole. It's not like anybody was expecting something actually good or any more than just decent-- but to my surprise, Toby Wilkins' The Grudge 3 sometimes gives the illusion of being just decent, and therefore, the whole thing really makes you think about how much theatrically unreleased blockbuster cinema has evolved. For, yes, this new grudge episode is surprisingly not all about cheap, effortless scares. It's by far the most talky of the series (and, consequently, the most boring) and it seems to want to push the Big Bad Evil Curse Mythology in a forward direction instead of only exploiting its best tricks.

Naturally, every new plot point is either an idiotic step in the wrong direction or just a really, really convoluted idea. But you can tell director Toby Wilkins and his crew are not idiots, as they are very mindful of the way the previous installment were constructed, scored and shot. Amazingly, even if The Grudge 3 is crafted out of a significantly smaller budget than the first two, it could almost pass for a planned theatrical release. Oh, sure, it's nothing above competent & professional & serviceable, but it 'works'-- not in the sense that you actually buy what's going onscreen, for you do not. Not in the sense that it's an effective freak-out of a movie, for it is certainly not. But it sure looks and feels like any other one of those run-of-the-mill spookfests that come out a few times each season and gross 30 M$ plus each...!

Now, don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing remotely inventive or striking in this dull reheated platter. The 'gotcha!' moments only elicit reactions such as 'which one of those scenes is the less unscary?'. There are little bits of R-rated gore scattered here and there, and as close as they get to being something actually arresting, they feel like they belong in other horror universe entirely. It's also really hard to not laugh a little bit at how diminished the 'jerky long-haired woman' effect ends up after fifteen damn times-- in fact, the whole imagery that scared so many viewers in The Grudge borders close to the laughable here. Worse even, the disturbingly robotic dialogue easily sits among the laziest line-writing I can recall in a very long while, gracing us with endless variations on (actual quote) : ''Listen, things are happening and I think we should leave'' for 90 minutes. And that's to say nothing of all that rotten acting on display, with Matthew Knight and Shawnee Smith in brief roles as the only ones that actually look scared, and the rest of the cast failing miserably around them.

But no matter how just flat-out lame everything is in here, I didn't finish The Grudge 3 irritated or dissapointed (anybody who believed something great could have been harvested out of this project should have gotten a head check more than a while ago). Hear me, readers; there is nothing really insulting in The Grudge 3, except perhaps the spectres of two very superior films looming over all of its scenes, from the crappy ''let's show you flashes of the whole story again!'' exposition to the flatlining character exchanges to the would-be frightening moments.

Also : not enough ghostly woman croaking.