Review of The Giant Gila Monster (1959) by Byron B — 18 May 2016

Of the many low budget science fiction movies from the nineteen fifties, the Giant Gila Monster is hardly the worst, but it is probably among the most uninspired. The title alone tells you nearly everything you need to know, and you can easily guess the rest if you've seen any fifties movie with teenagers in it. The whole production reeks of cheapness and a general lack of effort, but at least it delivers what it promises.

The bare outline of a plot is that some people go missing in the middle of nowhere, some wrecked cars turn up with no sign of the occupants, and after many scenes the sheriff and some local teens realize that a giant lizard is responsible. After some further shenanigans the monster reveals itself, the hero defeats it, and everyone lives happily ever after. None of this should come as a surprise to anyone able to read this. The only thing that's worth remarking on is how unnecessarily risky yet completely predictable the method of dispatching the lizard is.

The hero is Chase, a good natured if slightly rebellious hot rodding wannabe rocker who spends his time working at the garage when he's not taking care of his polio stricken little sister. The sister's only real purpose is in the story to establish that Chase is a good guy for taking such good care of her, which is shown in scenes that feel painfully forced in their attempt to extract sympathy. Chase also has a supposedly French girlfriend who talks in a strong East European accent, and for good measure there's an old judge who dislikes him for no clear reason.

The effects are of course pathetic, even by 50's B movie standards. Lacking the budget for large scale props or stop motion, the filmmakers instead chose to use a regular Gila monster as a stand-in for the titular giant, and rather than use rear projection or similar process shots to place the monster in frame with the actors, they just cut to shots of it crawling around and flicking its tongue. It's painfully obvious that it's just a small lizard on the ground, and in most shots there aren't even any models to make it look bigger by comparison.

The soundtrack is worth noting only for its sheer banality. I don't think I've ever heard such excessive use of the Theremin. For once some dramatic stock music would be an improvement. What's worse is the original songs, including the mindlessly repetitive "Laugh Children Laugh," which probably would have won Worst Original Song if such an award had existed then.

The upside of this movie is that there are no obvious plot holes, the dialog is better than in most similar films, and the explanation for how the Gila monster became giant is worth a few laughs, even if they are unintentional. I highly recommend the MST3K cut, but don't waste your time with the original.