Review of The Final Destination (2009) by Ryan M — 08 Aug 2011

2.4/10.

"The Final Destination" presents its audiences with an unpleasantly stupid experience that will bore even the most tolerable of horror fans. It was not made for anyone who actually admires the genre, and it's so filled with CGI gore that you can't even call it stylistic. It's the first of the "Final Destination" films to be presented in 3D, but that should only make you want to avoid it more, more, and more.

And of course it was directed by David R. Ellis; the same man who screwed with a good idea by making "Final Destination 2", and ruining a good time by sitting in the director's chair that was attached to "Snakes on a Plane". This guy must be a joke, because he can't make even the silliest kind of movie fun. But then again, I haven't seen "Cellular".

Oh, what's the point of even TELLING you what the movie is about? You KNOW what the premise is: death has a plan for survivors of the many accidents that it causes, and people get killed off by the concept of death itself one-by-one...by one. That's been the formula of the last three films, and the fourth flick is no different. Actually; yeah it is. I thought that the first film and its second sequel, "Final Destination 3", were at least fun popcorn flicks. "Final Destination 2" wasn't bad, but it lacked the humor of the other two and resembles this one the more-and-more I think about it.

The film opens with a race-car collision; causing an explosion. People are killed, but of course, there are those fortunate enough to escape. And as always, there's one character with the ability to predict these events; thus he can save his friends, and he does. I don't see why he would; they're all obnoxious and stupid, kind of like him. So much for a hero, hero.

Death kills people by taking their eye out with rocks that are hit by the blades of lawnmowers. People also die from getting sucked into drains in the pool, falling bathtubs, and even by their own trucks. Goody, goody, goody!

I suppose some people do enjoy this filth. That's why there's a fifth "Final Destination" movie coming out fairly soon, and that's why this was made. Here is a film made without craft, and while it certainly WANTS to entertain, it doesn't. I couldn't stand how many things the filmmakers, writers, and editors got wrong. Did they think this was cool? Did they think this was hip? I guess they did. But this did not need to be made, thus making it unnecessary; and bad, bad, bad.

Do not go in expecting to have fun. Do not go in because the movie has a cool poster (with a skull on it to scream "boo"). Lastly, don't see it because you think you'll be wowed by the 3D effects; because you won't be. If you're smart, you'll save yourself the boredom and yawns that come with this film free of charge. I'm lucky I didn't spend a penny to see it; because that would have been money wasted. I like my horror movies suspenseful, well-made, and fun. This is not a horror movie. This isn't even torture porn, death porn, or whatever you want to call it. This is, quite frankly, shit; and it's the kind that only David R. Ellis could possibly make.