Review of The Expendables (2000) by Kay K — 08 Jan 2013

It's not that I had high hopes of this film being a profound drama or an edge-of-your-seat thriller, but I had hoped it would really capitalise on the action-hero reunion a lot more than it did. To start with, the script! Oh my goodness I know Sylvester Stallone is no Oliver Stone but I didn't expect the dialogue to be so basic and uninspired. I swear I know a few kids under the age of 10 who could have tied it all together in a more fluent and well versed way.

I felt like Jason Statham was cringing his way through his lines, as was Dolph Lundgren- these two actors were really the only ones worth their undoubtedly humongous pay checks. And I'm not talking about silly one-liners in the style of Die Hard or the like- I was hoping for that. I'm talking just plain and simple bad writing. As in, I can almost imagine Stallone sitting there thinking 'Oh and when Statham stabs the basketball I'll get him to say 'next time I'll deflate all your balls friend''- good stuff.

I thought the plot was fine and I enjoyed the cameo appearances of Arnie and Bruce Willis but they would have been better if they weren't so overhyped (two minutes on screen shouldn't equal a major credit). I desperately wanted this film to be great and it just wasn't. Stallone should have invested in some witty screenwriters and it could have been hugely improved but he is seemingly too vapid and egotistical to have done so. What a waste.