Review of The Ewok Adventure (1984) by Ken S — 21 Dec 2015

One of those weird, often forgotten, spin-offs of Star Wars. I think this movie might've sucked more if I hadn't gone in expecting it to suck so much. I built up its suckiness. The movie is a harmless addition to the Star Wars franchise, it certainly didn't do the kind of damage the Prequels had done later on, purely for it just being some silly TV special.

Ewoks do still rule, but not like the do in Jedi (fuck all who oppose that viewpoint). You get the feeling that the Narrator was only added when someone watched a rough cut and couldn't make heads or tails as to what the shit was going on, but having Burl Ives voice makes you think only of Rudolph.

The two child actors are some of the worst child actors I've ever seen. They deliver every line like they're reading it for the first time. I won't recommend this, unless you are a die-hard Star Wars fan, or like weird pop culture artifacts (which is why I watched it).