Review of The Escort (2015) by Word P — 24 Aug 2015

With all the bad major releases coming out this week, I thought I would get my Indy on and check out some independent films to see what up and coming talents were trying to break into the filmmaker scene.

I happened to come a cross an unexpectedly funny rom-com called the Escort. Now I usually don't engage in rom-coms but with a name like the Escort I felt assured enough if the movie was boring at least there should be decent enough sex scenes and nudity to hold my attention, I know, kind of juvenile of me but lets be real boobs makes everything better.

Lyndsy Fonseca did an amazing job as the female lead. My only problem with her in this movie is that she isn't as hot as the movie would lead you to believe. For the most part of the film its a lot of dudes over come with how gorgeous she was and she wasn't even the hottest chick in the movie by a long shot, not saying she is ugly cause I would totally hit that, it was just very over exaggerated.

Michael Doneger did a decent job playing the male lead. His presence on screen is pretty forgettable but he did deliver the lines in a believable fashion, even though it shouldn't of been that hard seeing how he helped write the damn thing.

This is the first film by Will Slocombe I have seen. I was impressed that he made the movie entertaining, especially at the fact that he kept me engaged in this movie even after I found out that there was no nudity or amazing sex scenes, which you would expect in a movie about a female escort.

The story was very bland. The main characters were interesting enough, but the side characters were as bland and boring as the plot and if this movie ran any longer than its hour and a half screen time this would of gotten boring really fast or basically ended up a Lifetime movie of the week.

This movie is nowhere near the quality of Steven Soderbergh's Girlfriend Experience nor does it have the raunchiness of Nymphomaniac to cement itself as a serious sex driven narrative, nor is it funny enough really to call it a dirty rom-com like the 40 year old virgin, nor does it have the charm of Pretty Woman, in the end it is just a run of the mill chick flick.

As a guy I would skip this movie if you were watching it in hopes there are scenes where she actually performs as an "escort", but if you have to be forced to watch some stupid rom-com with your lady, this is a decent option that most likely will be the lesser of two evils from whatever horrible movie she would have you sit through.