Review of The Devil's Tomb (2009) by Angela E — 01 Dec 2009

I don't know what it is that attracts me to these cheap horror movies. Each one is terrible in their own right. In this case, The Devil's Tomb is just terrible. Believe it or not, this was directed by none other than Sean Connery's son, Jason, who recently appeared in The Asylum's Dragonquest, adding a useless credit to his unimpressive, low-budget b-grade acting career. So I was very surprised to see that he was actually behind the camera on this seemingly big budget horror thriller with an impressive cast. Okay, so maybe Cuba Gooding Jr., Ron Perlman, Ray Winstone, and Henry Rollins don't impress you, but it's a massive step up for Connery and for the world of b-grade direct-to-dvd. Usually, all those guys would appear alone, amid a sea of new, unknown faces. Here, James Bond Jr. has brought them all together to unearth the devil himself. Did I mention they also have Taryn Manning, Bill Mosely, Zack Ward, and Jason London? Well, they do.

Mack (Cuba) and his team, who are of course comprised of people with names like Hicks, Click, Hammer, and Nickels (Manning plays the medic and she wants people to call her "Doc"), have been chosen to lead Dr. Elissa Cardell into an archeological dig that has been appropriated by the army when they found something in there that is currently top secret. All communication has been lost with the underground base in the desert of Somalia or wherever and their mission is simply to go in and find Dr. Wesley (Perlman), who's been maintaining the base with 19 other scientists and security personnel. When they get there, they meet a dying priest with pustules all over his face and body and Moseley in a some freaky makeup, so they quickly realize that whatever happened in this base is more complex than they first imagined.

All through out the film, we are treated to pointless flashbacks Mack has regarding a military shootout. I believe these scenes were pointless because I found they had nothing to contribute to the film whatsoever (then again, I was falling asleep during the last half). The usual happens - the members of the team begin to separate from one another and things happen to each of them, you know the kind of stuff that always happens when people split up in movies like this. Bill Mosely (remember him as Chop Top from TCM 2 and Otis from Devil's Rejects?) appears and once again acts goofy and looks creepy. And, after taking a head shot, like all good ghouls refuses to go down. Oh, and Henry Rollins is a paranoid priest. I don't know either.

I don't even know what the total outcome of the film was, I dozed off a few times through out the end, but from what I understand Ron Perlman is possessed by the devil or a demon of some sort. The whole story wasn't complete trash, and I guess this wasn't a complete waste of 1 and 1/2 hours, but I guess I could have spent that time watching a good movie. Because The Devil's Tomb is far from that.