Review of The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005) by Ian M — 01 Jan 2009

"You stole the keys to daddy's car- but you can't handle the horsepower!".

This movie is the shits. But it's also in the running for perhaps the most unintentionally hilarious movie of 2008, and that makes it one of the best of last year. I think whoever cast this movie deserves some sort of award for assembling one of the most off-the-wall, fucked up group in history to be in a Crow movie. I can't imagine the producers meeting where they decided to cast Ed Furlong as the lead, but I'd like some of whatever they were on. Strangely enough, I can't think of anyone more synonymous with the role now than our man Eddie. Move over Brandon Lee, here's the REAL crow.Eric Draven, meet Jimmy Cuervo.

"I now pronounce you the devil... And his shortie!".

Tara Reid is terrible in this, and David Boreanaz does his best Skeletor/Joker/generic over-the-top movie villain impression, playing some weird guy who wants to bring the devil to earth within him or something. Furlong is laughably bad, and comes off as some overly dramatic moody wannabe goth teenager off his meds on his way to a Marilyn Manson concert and less as a love-lost-out-for-revenge kinda lead that the role needed. There's a scene where Bornea-whatever has Furlong's Crow hung up like Undertaker had Stone Cold Steve Austin on a cross. Dennis Hopper has a role as a satanic pimp or something, and Danny Trejo, as always, pulls off an admirable job (and my favorite performance of his next to Desert Heat with JCVD).

What's even sadder, is that this is perhaps the most entertaining (though certainly not in the way the makers hoped) of the Crow series. The previous installments took themselves way too seriously, and when this one tries, it actually makes it even better to laugh at. This is my academy award pick. Bring on Wicked Prayer 2 and 3 and 500.