Review of The Cobbler (2014) by Matthew H — 17 Apr 2015

Tom McCarthy's fourth directorial effort, like a bad pair of shoes, starts out seeming okay. Not comfortable, but tolerable. Then the seems start splitting. Then it just falls completely apart.

The light fantasy plot seems harmless enough: Bored cobbler realizes magic sewing machine will make him look like his clients when he wears their shoes. Okay. Great. I'm sure he'll learn something about life while making some minor mistakes, and in the end he'll get the cute girl who is significantly younger then him but of course has an old soul as evidenced by her obsession with saving the old New York neighborhood... You know the drill. It'll be a vapid, rehashed romp for the whole family! Forgettable but mildly lovable.

That's what you'd expect. What you get is uncomfortable and stupid and pretty darn vile.

How did this happen? McCathy's first three films - The Station Agent, The Visitor, Win Win - are some of the best films of the last few years. I cannot recommend them enough. They are deep and powerful and bring out the best in their actors and leave you with a smile and a warm fuzzy feeling for humanity.

The Cobbler is none of those things and does none of those things. Its plot winds around looking for something interesting to do with its befuddled cast, and never quite lands on anything worth our time. In fact, it get ugly. Really ugly. It takes a cute idea and proceeds to pummel it. After an innocuous enough set up, the film almost immediately turns morally dubious, then amoral, and finally unexpectedly violent. And all the while it feels as though McCarthy expects you to laugh, which will not be what you want to do, especially not when Sandler's character essentially breaks into a neighbor's apartment, ogles a naked woman in a shower, and very nearly has sex with her before realizing he would have to take off his shoes. Thank goodness that plot device was there to PREVENT OUR HERO FROM COMMITTING A RAPE! And that's after the mugging and the grand theft auto.

And this is only the moral side of things. The twists the film takes in its last ten minutes not only belittle the rest of the story and blow off the main character's faults, but more or less absolve him of his transgressions and set him on a path of further irresponsibility. On top of being absurdly stupid.

What seems to be aiming to be a wacky but still traditional enough modern fable takes a dark turn with no clear moral and turns out even more upsetting than the waste of time it could have been.

Don't see The Cobbler.