Review of The Cave (2005) by Paul D — 18 Nov 2008

As we all know Hollywood doesn't need to produce remakes for unoriginal ideas. Armageddon and Deep Impact. Volcano and Dante's Peak. Here we have The Cave which is the same story as The Descent.

Only it's absolute shit compared to the brilliance of The Descent. How can two such similar films be so different? Well The Cave is typical Hollywood, so we are handed cookie cutter characters (The Dr, The leader, the angry one), some political correctness.

Men, women, a black and an Asian, note to writers, if a description of your film sounds like the beginning of a joke just start over. Everyone is dull and has such stilted dialogue that it doesn't matter which character says what, they're all the same.

The monsters are more is MORE. It's a monster, it's a parasite, it can fly with a stupid stupid twist (Descent left it's monsters origins to speculation). By the end I didn't care, my mind was wondering and thinking about The Descent (you should watch that, it's amazing).

Then came the final scene which crapped over all the shit that came before it, and that shit had dried up so the smell wasn't so bad, but after the stupidity of the last scene it just wreaked again.

Though the cinematography was pretty good.