Review of The Canyons (2013) by Everett J — 05 Aug 2013

**.

I was reading Entertainment Weekly this past weekend when I came across a review for "The Canyons". They gave it a B+ and I had never heard of it. Sunday evening I was looking for something to watch, came across it and figured I'd give it a chance. It stars Lindsay Lohan as a yoga instructor who has a volatile/crazy sexual relationship with a producer played by James Deen. He becomes obsessed when he thinks she is cheating on him and things escalate from there. It's a thriller, that offers no thrills, well except to see Lohan naked through a lot of the movie. This is basically a notch above softcore porn's you see late night on Cinemax. Lot of nudity, some sex, and a whole lot of bad acting. It does have one of the weirdest sex scenes I've ever seen in a movie, as a foursome. Lohan probably is the best thing about the movie here. but even she does horrible. Deen has 2 facial expressions, bored and a smirkish pout. Plus, the way the movie ends is pretty stupid. They probably could have done some cooler stuff with the way Deen's character goes crazier and crazier, but they don't. It's an hour and a half that drags a lot, just feels too slow. I give it 2 stars for Lohan's two best assets, but other than that this is a complete skip. If EW gives this a B+ I'd really hate to see what their version of an A is.