Review of The Canyons (2013) by Christopher C — 23 Jul 2014

I'm going to write this review as an unbiased to Lindsay Lohan. I'm not her biggest fan but I don't dislike her either. I will say I'm a fan of James Deen (incriminating statement).

It appears that Lindsay is over acting, but actually the rest of the cast is under acting and not complimenting her performance. Like when she starts crying, it feels too dramatic since her opposing actor isn't a believable threat. It's like why is she crying so much. You can tell that the director & cinematographer did everything in their power to make sure they wouldn't take any of the blame for this flopping. It looked good, I liked how they tried to make it feel like real life. The shots were well composited and pleasing to the eye. I think it might have been the writer, the casting, and possibly producers who failed. Although, it is the director's job to pull the talent out of the actor. Either these were really untalented actors or the director didn't put enough effort to make the best of their performances. Now about the writing, really? I mean everything you could do wrong they practically did. There was absolutely no character development or back story. There is a saying in Hollywood, if Timmy fell down the well would you care? In this movie I couldn't care. Why was Tara (Lohan) crying so much? Why would she put up with a d-bag of a boyfriend to live a wealthy lifestyle? I mean we all want that life but what was her motivation? What was the source of Christian's (Deen) behavior? We know it had something to do with the father but what did he go through? Why was Tara so desirable that Christian stalked his own girlfriend and Ryan was obsessed with his ex-girlfriend? What was so special about Tara and why do I care? The writer failed to use a vehicle to tell a back story or give the characters depth. The timeline was so linear we failed to see the outer forces that lead these characters down their paths. They could have used flashbacks instead of casually mentioning events in the dialogue. If they really wanted to avoid flashbacks and keep that timeline strictly linear then they should've showed more interaction with characters other than the main ones. We should've met Christian's father. We should've seen Ryan's failed & drastic attempts to further his career. We should've met someone other than Ryan from Tara's past. We needed to see their self torments and motivation for such deep desire to achieve their dreams or motivated their dark sides. Everybody wants to live a wealthy lifestyle, archive fame, to have true love, to control every aspect of their lives, to enact revenge, to simply have everything they want to be happy & admired. Why did I care about these characters trying to achieve what everyone wants. What I would have cared about is why they would go to such drastic lengths to do so. I wanted to relate to their character and feel empathy or even sympathy. The ending was weak, left me with no closure or understanding of Ryan's continuing obsession with Tara.

THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THIS MOVIE WAS THAT FOURSOME SEX SCENE!! Seeing James Deen performing bisexual acts against his will was worth watching the whole movie.